Sunday, August 21, 2016
Somewhere along the way the white folks under water in Louisiana did not get the memo that "the President wishes them well and to make sure that they don't discriminate against people of color or people who invaded this country from outside our borders."
The President scheduled his visit some months ago in order to reach the 300 rounds of golf played level and the President would not want to be rude to force those who scheduled time to be in his presence to be denied such time. After all, his friends are so important.
The President was perplexed as to why a little bit of water on a hot summer's month would be such a bad thing for these southern white people. He figured that their prized possessions were already on cinderblocks in their front yards - those classic Chevrolet Vegas and Ford Pintos which haven't run since the early 1980's. There was really nothing the President could do to part the waters there since Mooslim Gods just don't do that. Moses maybe. Really?
Everyone knows that the President cares in his own way - and wherever he is is all that matters and he can think about Louisiana smoking fags on the golf course or sitting across the dinner table with Mothra who now has a drug problem. You have to understand that the President is concerned - first there will be the "Choong Gang" and then there will be the drug dealing to pay for under graduate school and then the incidental run in with domestic terrorists who will offer to pay the rest of the way if she'll just give up blunts and black Mercedes.
It isn't like these white people will starve - somewhere down there there will be a Popeye's chicken outlet that will be above water and those white folks can get them some red beans and rice and some cajun spiced chicken.
And then there is the time after the vacation where he'll be back after two weeks and Moochelle and her brood and mooch mother will arrive a week to 10 days afterwards after costing the taxpayers tens of millions more.
Meanwhile the President is rested and ready for action!
On Tuesday, he'll visit Louisiana after having scoped out the places where there won't be any white people to ruin the photo optics. He'll politely wave at them if they call out his name and then have them arrested for looking cross-eyed at a Pedro or a Juanita earlier in the day.
The President will return after spending five minutes allowing his fans to admire him and he'll likely find time to put in another round of golf at Andrews before attacking Republicans and Donald Trump. He'll then offer details for his next progression on destroying America through infesting the nation with disease carrying rapists, drug dealers, child molesters, and women ready to drop anchor babies in the next few weeks. He'll lament that they have it so hard while those in Louisiana should just shut the hell up and get a couple of sponges. And he'll be quick to point out that this was not Hurricane Katrina, it was something less than that and therefore the storm wasn't big enough for him.
And then he'll whine and moan how Donald Trump used the people of Louisana for a photo op and that Donald tried to show he cares. The President will remind everyone that only he has the power of empathy and someone else trying is really demeaning and insulting and bordering on being racist.
And then the President will unveil the rest of what he wants to do with his last four months in the White House. The press will eat this shit up since they now how Moochelle's cookbook "how to eat shit and to think it is prime rib."