Sunday, December 18, 2016
In typical investigative reporting from the other side, Andy Rooney takes a break from telling his stories and whispering in peoples' ears, "Have you ever wondered why?" to go face to face (spirit to monster) with the First Cunt and makes any other interviews an afterthought.
Andy Rooney - I want to thank you for allowing me to interview you and taking time from telling America how they have no hope because you flap your gums.
Moochelle MyBelle Obama - Was that necessary? I'm going to take the high road.
Andy Rooney - "High Road? Since when do you take the longest route when your servants make shortcuts for your life and continue to feed your mother who hasn't paid a dime in rent to the American taxpayers in eight years?
Moochelle MyBelle Obama -"Confrontation will get you nowhere."
Andy Rooney - "So, will you be running for President. You could bag two claims to fame. The first chocolate female elected as President and the first woman to be elected that doesn't have a vagina."
Moochelle MyBelle Obama -"I haven't made up my mind and I can assure you that I have a vagina. I have two beautiful daughters who wear their dresses pulled up to expose their hoohoos to show for it."
Andy Rooney - "I noticed your daughters haven't quite learned how to dress - they take after you with your exposed man shoulders and they want to show they are female by giving salivating Democrats a chance to see young and tender regions."
Moochelle MyBelle Obama -"My daughters always were designer label dresses that haven't been worn by anyone else before. They are beautiful young women."
Andy Rooney - "We have a bet here in heaven that God truly had a sense of humor when the third and fourth documented immaculate conceptions happened. We are wondering if your daughters aren't a great answer to the abortion debate that what grows inside a woman may not in fact be human.. And we aren't sure what they are."
Moochelle MyBelle Obama -"Women have the right to control their own body and can lead from behind like my husband. After drawing a line in the sand with the word "no" and then consenting to have the line crossed into their hoohoos, a woman should be allowed to change her mind when the decision makes her uncomfortable. And besides, what is inside her is just a bunch of cells and tissue mass and we must allow women to make their own decision with their doctors and satanic counselors."
Andy Rooney -"We aren't big on Satanic Counselors here in heaven."
Moochelle MyBelle Obama - "I think heaven is overrated. There is no hope there either."
Andy Rooney -"Why is it that there can only be hope when baby-killing, lying, and climate change hoaxers are in office?"
Moochelle MyBelle Obama -"Because we say so."
Andy Rooney -"Let's talk about this recent Presidential election..."
Moochelle MyBelle Obama -"I offered to loan Hillary Clinton some of my dresses but try as she may, the dresses fit her like a Magnum condom on a pencil dick."
Andy Rooney - "I believe you are the first first lady to ever mention condoms in any interview."
Moochelle MyBelle Obama -"If you see what I see on Obama's birthday you'd know why I know all about them."
Andy Rooney - "There is only a month or so left before you and Barack and your Mother will be kicked out of the White House. What will you be doing after that happens?"
Moochelle MyBelle Obama -"Barack will be moving to Hawaii where he will be able to play golf and to stroke his club and smoke as he wants and to eat the way he likes. My Mother and I will be living in DC for a few more months at taxpayer expense along with our Daughter Sasquatch while our other Daughter Mothra completes school. Sasquatch will be partying with her friends and trying to resurrect the Choong gang while she seeks to have her schooling financed by domestic terrorists just like her father. Mothra has told me she likes boys but none will touch her. I told her that as a condition of the upcoming pardon of Bergdahl that he'll have to marry her and to give us children that are as just as black as her father."
Andy Rooney - "I've always wanted to know ... did you choose the two dogs you did to confuse kidnappers so that they might take the dogs instead of your beautiful young daughters?"
Moochelle MyBelle Obama -"We love our dogs as if they were our daughters. That would be tragic if they were kidnapped."
Andy Rooney - "Why did you bother with Oprah and her interviews?"
Moochelle MyBelle Obama -"She's black and she needs all the ratings she can get."
Andy Rooney - "If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?"
Moochelle MyBelle Obama -"Poison Oak."
Andy Rooney - "I'd like to get personal here since you mentioned about condoms. Do you spit or swallow?"
Moochelle MyBelle Obama -"I would find it hard to swallow Donald J. Trump."
Andy Rooney - "Has it hurt your feelings that children across America hate your school lunches and would rather eat at McDonald's?"
Moochelle MyBelle Obama - "It hurt that I couldn't force the little white bastards who were whining loudly about my lunch menu. Those little white bastards don't know how good they have it when their black classmates often go without lunch because their fathers abandoned them and their mother is too busy working their tenth baby daddy."
Andy Rooney - "Speaking of race, how do you think America has done with race since your husband was King for eight years?"
Moochelle MyBelle Obama - "You didn't call George W. Bush a King. You are speaking in racist code language."
Andy Rooney - "George W. Bush didn't overspend by $9 trillion adding more debt in eight years as all other Presidents combined and he didn't pick and choose which laws to enforce and didn't rewrite laws to suit his narrow purposes."
Moochelle MyBelle Obama - "My husband is always the smartest man in any room he enters. I don't think the former President knew how to spell "Oval Office"."
Andy Rooney - "Heaven is calling me back. I might miss a game of strip poker with some former playmates. Anyway, do you have any closing thoughts?"
Moochelle MyBelle Obama - "I don't often give interviews to white people so you should count yourself lucky."
Andy Rooney - "And there you have it America. Many think of her as a monster. Some like her because they have no taste. But you cannot deny she is always catty. Good day."