Thursday, August 18, 2016
The media is confident.
It has done its job to ridicule and to over report on Donald J. Trump and to hide Hillary's warts and farts.
And now it is preparing to take the month of September off and to get November ready now.
They are making travel plans to Hillary's victory party in November.
The graphics are already done - "Hillary Wins" - "Historic Victory" - "Trump refuses to concede" and the New York Times, Washington Post, and LA Times are all putting to bed their front pages which will be all Hillary all the time on the day after her victory in November.
"We can't possibly go wrong on this one," said Prematur Ejaculacion, spokesperson for the Clinton media syndicate of CBS, NBC, ABC, MSPMS, and CNN which coordinate media stories that attack Trump and coddle Clinton. "This one is in the bag. Trump doesn't want to win this - he's spent ten dollars to get media attention on the back of buses in districts he'll already win. Hillary has spent tens of millions to trash Trump. She's ahead in the polls. Victory is here!"
Printers and other media outlets are excited that they'll have all of the graphics work and printing of banners and other celebratory materials done before September so they can take a nice fall vacation looking at leaves changing rather than wondering what to print in November.
"I've got plans for a great Thanksgiving," said Fullo Sheet, owner of Clits and Tits graphics, the lesbian owned business who has received a million dollar contract to print all of the materials at Hillary's victory celebration.
Over at Hillary's favor bakery, Cakes, Files, and Lock Picks, the work is as done as it can be done - graphics have been approved for the vaginal themed cakes that Hillary craves - they are hand held creamy centered cakes that have a nice flesh tone without the tang of yeast or overt fishy tones.
"It is a shame we can't just bake the cakes now - we'd save so much time - but if you bake the cakes over a month ahead of the need, these cakes can be over powering on the fishiness and Hillary wants the cakes to be mild like Huma," said Ramona Mona, owner and chief dyke of the bakery. "We were prepared to put files into the cakes and to ship them to a prison, but Hillary is one cool cat and she avoided jail time. Now we'll fill the centers with a nice sweet cream and not that nasty man cream that is really kinda salty."