Wednesday, November 30, 2016
Huma Weiner, on-again-now-off-again cunnilingus partner of the geriatric witch Hillary Clinton, was recently seen getting a new hairdoo in anticipation of going back to Weiner and forever eschewing old fish for good.
Anthony Weiner has been hiding in a sexual addiction clinic West of Nashville after it was found out that he was sharing his weiner via social media with a 15 year old minnow. Apparently you can be cured of flashing your weiner in about a month and he's due to come home where his wife will try to reorient her tastes from old yeasty muffins and dried fish to a substantial weiner attached to a man who looks like he was made up of vomit instead of ashes to ashes and dirt to dirt.
After all of the embarrassment that the Weiner inflicted on Huma and her going down payments with Hillary, it is said that the two Weiners, one Jewish and one Mooslim, still live together with an unfortunate reproductive accident, a son, who has been shuttled back and forth to school by Huma's motha.
It should be noted that it was the hunt for the sexual predator, Anthony Weiner, that led to a discover of old growth Huma emails that were missing from the Hillary record of emails that were expertly purged and personally read by her attorney and deemed unremarkable. These new emails were subject of an awkward moment for the FBI director who personally told us there was nothing here only to tell us that there might be something here and ultimately to conclude that there was nothing new here moments before Americans were to choose between an odd orange tinged old man and a woman equally in her historic age to him that had enough bondo under her makeup to make her look like Betty Crocker with Sugar and numerous fillers and additives. If you thought that was a mouthful, it was nothing to American who were trying to digest choosing from the worst candidates in American history - a brash and uncontrollable lurch against a woman who likely has never told the truth in her entire life.
So now Huma will be confronted with the toughest challenge of her life - eating meat again over fish and watching to make sure that her husband doesn't decide to visit an all girls' school where he can get the freshest fish available.