American Idol Cuts Down to Seven

Well, here we go again, clearing out another voice that makes one's ears bleed.   Last week the performances were generally good - this week they were generally horrific.  The theme this week was from the 1980's.   Evidently none of these performers gave a flying fock because the performances were all unremarkable. Will Hollie, Elise, or DeAndre be the bottom three as I think they will? This show starts with news that Joshua isn't feeling good.   He says he's light headed.   Perhaps if he started singing like a MAN, he'd not be so afflicted with a light head. Then we had J-Hoe with a segment of her new video - we didn't have a title but I can give you one - "Cougar in Heat!".   Honestly does everything in music have to boil down to raunchy sexual imagery?    I mean, she's on the floor like a lioness or stray cat wriggling around as if she were in heat.   The cure for this is to get her spayed.    I'm not sure who the guy was in this video,  but he was a has been as well - tattoo'd and not at all attractive. After this we went to a Ford music video - essentially a commercial.   Yawn. Elimination tonight will be done by the duo groupings - this way we can shoot two for the time it takes to shoot one.... The first of the "duos" from last night come out for elimination - Joshua and Whitney Houston's Chippie wanna be.   Both survived.   Oh happy happy joy joy! The show then went to another performance by some Brit band.  I think they were named "Who da fock cares?"   Nothing special.   Seriously, I don't even know the song or what it was about.   I do know it wasn't about a cat in heat.  Hated it! Commercial.    I run and get some more water from my Britta pitcher.   Yes, I don't buy bottled water anymore.   Do you seriously think I'm gonna lug 24 bottles of water up two flights of stairs?   Get real! Next "duo" up ... Colton and Skylar.   Colton is sporting a new bleached look and Skylar is still repugnantly sugary - like a tooth fairy you wish you could slug with a full fist. Recall last night that Skylar over did her performance of "Wind Beneath My Wings" and turned it into a very cheap Vegas Lounge act.    Colton was totally unremarkable - he doesn't have much of a voice and should quickly find his Christian Music roots before the dark in his roots takes back the bleach blond on his head. Oh joy - they are stringing out this cut down ... instead of giving the results for the second duo, they bring up a new duo - vomit and puke - Hollie and DeAndre.   DeAndre dressed up as a very dirty Cockerspaniel and Hollie was a Trollope from the Roaring Twenties.   Both performances were wretched so this group will likely be in the bottom three..... Now for some results ... DeAndre is in the bottom three!!!!!!!!!    I'm right!   I may be a batch, but I have ears!    Colton.....is safe.   My friend Donny will now suck you off.    Hollie is in the bottom three!   Skylar gets a reprieve for a week.   I'm batting 2 for 2. .... Egads.   Yet another performance - this time by Kelly Pickler.    Come on, American Idol.   She was a two bit bleach blond slut when she was on the show as a contestant.   Do we really need her when she's trying to invoke the spirit of Tammy Wynette?    Kelly has this synthetic country twang that you sometimes hear on comedy shows - it is just over the top - but when it is performed as a serious song, it comes across just as damned funny!   Yee Haw!    Somehow when I hear her I think about her getting a load of cum in her bleach blond hair.   She sucks but doesn't swallow.... Guess what - we are going into another commercial break.   Time to pee. I'm back.  High point tonight was the two Ford Taurus commercials.  365 horsepower and NASCAR driver Carl Edwards.   He could drive me all night long.     Back live - one more duet - Elise and Phillip - we have one seat left in the bottom three....I like Phillip but his facial expressions look like he is trying to pass a kidney stone.   I agree with the Jimmy on the show, Phillip wasn't good last night.    Now Elise is being reviewed - she was Jersey Shore meets American Idol and the outcome was the least of the least - Jimmy said she choked.   I agree.    And now for the news ... Elise is in the bottom three - I called it, folks.   My ears hear clearly.  Phillip skates through and can do so for a couple more weeks - he better start improving or he'll be toast in the top five. Bottom three - Hollie, Elise, and DeAndre.    Hollie given a reprieve - guess 1920's whores are in.   Elise and the Cockerspaniel are now left to contemplate their place in shitdom during another commercial. The dog stool that gets to go home this week is.....DeAndre!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bwahahahahahahahha Now the Cockerspaniel gets to sing for his life and you know this bunch of sellout judges will bring him back - those pathetic, dishonest, deaf has beens will likely save him!   Gawd this performance is wretched - if he is singing for his life, the crowd would pull out handguns and end it right now!  DeAndre is voted off - JayHo wanted DeAndre and the two guys voted him off!   OMG!   Thank you Dawg and Dude Who Looks Like a Lady. DeAndre is gone!   God is good!