|
Senators are lining up
to get their face time before microphones as they show their
willingness to sellout their country and taxpayers to give the
King everything he wanted and a little bit more.
According to
Senator Harry Reid (Democrat), "We are on the cusp of giving
our President everything he asked for and there is near agreement
with all our 98 Progressive Senators that this whole situation
with the government shutdown is just plain silly."
Details of the plan
are still in flux and the Senator Majority Leader would not offer
details but sources close to the negotiations have outlined the
Senate plan and it has sweeping ramifications for Americans.
First, any taxpayer
who voted for any Republican Congressman will be subjected with a
special adversary tax that will equal 25% of their
income. There will be no exemptions for incomes and
this appears to seek a pound of skin for each day the wonderful
Federal Government was starved of its nourishment.
Said one official, "These bastards will pay and pay
dearly."
Second, anyone who
moved the barricades from the monuments during the protest on
Sunday will be tracked down and will feel the wrath of the Federal
Government. "You saw what we did over a
youtube video that had nothing to do with the uprising in
Libya. There may be confiscation of property and
souls of the miscreants that sought to embarrass our King,"
said one source who asked to remain hidden.
Third, not only
will Obamascare remain intact, the King fully intends to double
down on raising as much hell with the law as
possible. Said one
White House source, "These fools thought the premium
increases were outrageous before this government
shutdown. Wait until they get a load of the actual
cost increases. These tea party people will not
know what hit them come January."
Apparently House
Speaker John Boner (R) will not escape the wrath of the Senate
plan. Multiple Administration sources have
stated that, "Boner will have a lot to cry about once this
bill becomes law. We've saved a special place in this
bill for his head and the King will have Boner's head on a platter
and will even have it turned into a place to put his adult
beverage while watching his favorite sports programming when his
business day ends at 5:00 p.m. The King is
emphatic that Boner will even experience a removal of his manhood
but we'll expect to have to do micro surgery to complete the
removal."
|
During the
interview with Senator Reid, Democrat from Nevada, Senatricks
Diane Feinstein and House Minority Tampax, Nancy Pelosi, wiggled
their way into the interview with a few choice words. Senatricks
Feinstein declared that "we'll seize all guns and blame the
shutdown on the proliferation of AR-15's and that we've had it
with these teabaggers getting in our way to screw America and
we'll indeed screw the bastards like they've never been
screwed. This is war. And we will take no
prisoners." With
Senatricks Feinsteins words inspiring her, House Minority Leader
Nancy Pelosi showed her braless blouse and said "my titties
are getting all hard just hearing all of this discussion of
getting Boner. My district would be glad to hang
his body for display and we have a scale model version of the
House Chamber where we can put Boner's manhood just under the
Gavel. This whole situation has gotten
silly and we are going to end this for good." Not
to be outdone with the treason on the Democrat side, Senators
Lindsay Grahamnesty and John McCain managed some face time to
suggest that Senator Cruz would be someone's bitch and that he
would also pay with his life being brought to the edge of a death
payback. Said the traitor McCain, "I know torture
and that bitch Cruz is gonna be seeing and hearing Hanoi Jane
every moment of his life. I don't know who that bitch
thinks he is, but no one shows up me and my Lindsay.
We run this joint and it is just not right that someone would dare
have a contrary opinion in the Senate." Meanwhile
the White House is making plans to re-invite House Republicans to
a closed door meeting with the President where he'll demand his
way or send the Congressman down the highway where the former
missing in action Vice President Joe Bite Me will be sitting in an
idling Metro Bus awaiting running over the damned
fools. "Joe
gets off running over fools and he couldn't wait to escape Camp
David anticipating getting to nail one Republican Congressman
after another. He has a vindicative streak in
him and I recall a time when he would take off the shoes of
Republican upstart Senators years ago and shitting in those shoes
and giving them back to the young Senators," said an unnamed
source. "Joe focking hates Republicans and the King
values this trait in him. The King just laughs
when Joe Bite Me runs his trap because he knows Joe won't leave a
Republican Congressman unturned as he backs up and runs over them
again."
|
No comments:
Post a Comment