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Using Obamacare Standards of Signups, All Christmas Orders Were Delivered!   Shocking New Analysis Sheds Light on Success! Yesterday on this very blogazine, I reported the spin of the leftist news organizations - that UPS and FedEx failed to deliver packages that were promised to be at their destinations by Christmas. However, an in-depth analysis by this blogazine indicates that there was 100% delivery of all packages and that those who were screaming about not receiving their packages were.... teabaggers! According to the President of the United States, King Constipation, the One, the Messiah, the Anointed One, Barack Hussein Obama, we must be careful on how we assess "success".    Since the debacle of the Healthcare.gov website rollout, where the only people who managed to be able to signup were 41 people who now are on Medicare rolls, the President redefined "signup" and "success" to include those people who visited the site and "saved" their sessions for later use. Applying this Presidential standard of success for Healthcare.gov, UV News Service has found that UPS and FedEx were far more effective in delivering packages than even Obamacare's website signups! Since all packages had "delivery transmission" commitments from the retailer to the delivery services, this constitutes success in delivery.   And since all transmissions went through, that is 100% effectiveness - far higher than even healthcare.gov. On top of that since the delivery services fully intended to eventually deliver the packages, this follows with the President's intentions to screw every person who had insurance and got dumped for not offering contraceptives to newborns and for not offering 90 year olds condoms. Furthermore, since MOST of the packages were actually DELIVERED, that is far better success rates than Obamacare's conversion of website interest and actual delivery of insurance. On top of all this, since all of the delivery intentions had completed the payment stage, something that has never happened at healthcare.gov since that component has yet to be made, these delivery agents are so much more successful than first reported by the leftist agents of this Administration. Huge Increase in Last Minute Shopping Underscores How Great Websites Worked! What has also not been reported by the leftist news agencies is that Global Warming in the form of frozen water flakes has caused problems with actual physical delivery of the packages - and to date there has been no cost to taxpayers for this unforeseen problem - unlike the hundreds of millions spent in no-bid contracts by friends of Michelle Obama in the creation of healthcare.gov! "We were so expecting 100 degree days in December," exclaimed UPS President Elmer Fuddrucker.   "When we were expecting it to be duck season and it turned out to be rabbit season, that really caused us problems.   Our drivers were in shorts expecting the weather forecast of the President's Office of Global Warming Deception to be accurate.   Hell, our guys were getting blue balls and our lesbian drivers had their vaginal lips frozen together because the global warming disappeared all together." Official Obama Weather Spokesperson Algore even went so far as to forecasting coastal water level increases from too much water from melting ice caps and displaced fat polar bears now in the water. According to Commonsense Weather Forecasting service, who knew that there would be winter weather in winter and that this could adversely impact delivery vehicles that were getting stuck in snow that wasn't supposed to be there in the first place. "Hell, I was putting in 14 hour days earning well above minimum wage and I was driving for an evil delivery corporation and there was snow - there was ice - there was freezing rain in December.  WTF is that all about?" noted a delivery driver who spoke English as a first language and who was also not caucasian. When you take into account that the delivery companies performed better than Obamacare in actually delivering the products promised, you have to develop new respect for a private sector company following Government weather forecasting services' claims of Sahara weather in Michigan in December.