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1.
Tell Her, "Damn, Gurl, sex adds 25 pounds to your body!" Nothing
removes a vajayjay from your bed quicker than going right for
the fat button. She'll leave so fast that you might
get a free pair of shoes as she leaves them behind in a
snit. It is thus advisable to date women who have
your same shoe size and who also won't beat you up for calling
them Miss PIggy after doing the nasty with them. 2.
My boyfriend sucks peen way better than that. And he
swallows. As
a bisexual, you risk rejection from two sexes and you ultimately
know deep down you prefer chocolate over vanilla even if you
like both. So when you finally realize that
vajayjay is your vanilla, you can and should always go for the
low blow (pun intended) - compare her fellatiating skills with
your boyfriend who has been known to suck your balls up into and
out of your urethra with his wonderful peen
worship. And just to complete your vanilla
scare tactics, tell her he swallows and then kisses you
afterwards. 3.
You were the last woman for me. You have made me
gay. Most
women find bisexual and gay men to be intriguing - there is a
sense of womanhood satisfaction that they get from trying to
flip a queen from peen to loving munching on
snatch. But you can and should turn the table
on her by pretending to be straight, and then after you have
spent two hours trying to cum and had her extensive
coaching and wanting to talk about your feelings, you turn to
her and say "Thank you for making me gay." 4.
When you are ready to cum and she's expecting her name, yell out
your boyfriend's name. Imagine
the horror that she'll feel as her vajayjay muscles are gripping
your peen like a pair of vice grips and she's leaking like a
Chevrolet Vega in your neighbor's driveway - and you suddenly
yell into her ear the name of your boyfriend and not
hers. This is likely to cause a momentary
pause in her sexual urges as she says "What did you
say?" and then you respond that you feel sorry for
insulting your boyfriend by calling out his name during a
charity fock. 5.
After sex critique her clothes and then show her your dress
selection to make her jealous. Yeah,
this is almost an out of bed experience, but you can start this
the moment you have dismounted her and covered her in your jizz.
She's all disgusted that you saved up for a week and have
covered her in enough spunk to knock up the Dallas Cowboy
Cheerleaders 10 times over, but hey, this just adds to the fun
of your next move. Pick up whatever she was wearing
before she exposed her nasty ass body, and you then start to
critique the brand name, the quality, the material, the texture,
the color and you proceed to tear it to pieces with
words. And after she is faced with choosing between
wiping up your goo or protecting her womanhood fashion cred, you
then get up (naked) and go to your closet and proceed to show
her what quality looks like and nothing you own is off the
rack. You might be able to show her the
difference that quality fabrics makes, but by this time she's
hopefully shrieking, running out of the room still covered in
your jizz, and taking her nasty cheap TJ Max shit home. Bonus.
Ask her to cook you dinner and to go shopping for the
ingredients.
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