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I am not quite sure
where this column grew its roots tonight. I do
lament that things are quite different now than when I was just
a budding fag in 1980 when I assumed the age of majority of
18. Some changes are splendid - being gay is nothing like
it was for me back then, and certainly to those who were of my
current age back at that time, even the dark days of the
1980's were heavenly compared to the Stonewall riots or the ages
where gays were executed across the globe, not just in muslim
countries today.
I was doing what
I normally do on a day off from work - working on my blog -
setting up content for the next week - and hunting various blogs
and websites for vintage images. Sometimes I
do wax nostalgic about what was once, but like those who die
around us, they are frozen in time with the most perfect of
memories - and history can take on a form of revisionism where
we cling to what was remarkable and bury with the corpse of the
past that which we never want to see again.
For a queer
reason, I took time to compare how utterly easy it is to get
images of the nude human body during this digital age - and how
we had to work at it during the twenty or thirty years ago (or
more) when we first craved the image of wood and its twins.
My historical
perspective - having lived it as a person of 18 - starts in 1980
- when I could first legally purchase the
material. I could go back a half a decade or
more when I noticed "Playgirl" behind the counter and
knowing then that my desire for peen was a most interesting and
intriguing desire and how I regretted that I could not see what
was behind the counter on those days when my mom would take my
sister and I into town to a local five and dime store there.
I remember that
during that same period of my life as I was experiencing
nocturnal emissions and a rash of spontaneous erections during
the school day, that my buddies during that time had at their
disposal "Playboys" and we had them in our
clubhouse. It was a truly queer experience for
me - seeing those airbrushed chest pimples that dominated the
topside of a female form while a muff of fur was covering up a
truly nasty looking collection of folds of skin that were oddly
cut and unappetitizing to me - even at that age when being gay
was not in the equation of what I might be, but my interest in
my buddies certainly was greater than what they were interested
in.
Alas I moved with
my family because of my father's duties in the Navy and my
cravings for porn were neither significant nor easily satiated -
though Dad did subscribe to "Playboy" for a few
odd years and I managed to sneak a look longing to see a
peen - and when I did, that issue received a good workout from
my parents' room to my room and back as needed.
So in my life -
that budding age of transforming from boy to adolescence and
beyond was mainly concerned with print porn - the visual compilation
of whatever intrigued the editor of the magazine and the really
big pictures, the centerfolds, had the requisite staple applied
somewhere above the snatch and below the belly button.
Having graduated
from high school days before turning 18, I still wasn't
venturing forth to find porn - but this would soon change as I
went to college and toured the university bookstore and landed
in the vast collection of magazines. And wouldn't
you know, there on the top row were the nudiemagazines!
And there were the usual assortment of chest pimples and
vajayjays lurking under the plastic covered
magazines.
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But there was also
"Playgirl".
I was so fraught
with delight and giddiness and then the simultaneous shame of
desiring a rag made for chicks - and I was still in process of
wondering why I craved peen so and not furry covered mounds of
folds of skin.
It would take
several trips to the bookstore before I found the courage to buy
an issue of "Playgirl" and made sure I purchased some
other magazines in which I could cover the treasure of my desire
and at least protect me until I had to go to the dreaded
checkout and those bitter old ladies who worked there.
I often moved
quickly to an open register and placed the magazines down and
let the old biddy process them and when the "Playgirl"
appeared I said I was buying it for my
girlfriend. It worked - I got my magazine of
peen and I was off to admire what was within and to begin my now
34 year quest of collecting as many peens as I possibly
can. And in case you do care, I have
nearly every issue of Playgirl printed from the start until the
magazine stopped monthly prints - but that is another story
entirely.
It wasn't long
afterwards that my family had a VCR - I commuted from home to
college - so I could take advantage of the new equipment - I
looked around for video stores that carried porn, and bought a
VHS tape and enjoyed it when the folks were
sleeping.
Within the
year of moving out after graduating from college, I had my own
VCR and rented movies and still collected "Playgirls"
and other gay magazines that I found - visiting gay bookstores
to do my shopping.
As the years went
buy, DVD players were all the rage and I dabbled in that as well
renting movies - but having to go to stores to get rentals or to
purchase movies was soon supplanted by...
The internet!
And what a
revelation that was - nude still images by the (voice of Carl
Sagan) "billions and billions" and even rudimentary 10
second video clips of a rather nasty compression
schema. And soon computers improved, the
internet speeds increased, bandwidth costs were lowered, and
suddenly stores were not necesary - you could subscribe to sites
for all the porn you can beat off to and then video became
better and now available in HD where you could see the stubble
on a porn actor's crotch after having committed pubicide!
No longer were
images marred by staples through the navels - now you had wide
screen entertainment with peens as large as a subway
sub! This was so delicious, but
technology had its way of going stupid and suddenly people were
watching porn on their smartphones with peens now barely half an
inch long and cumshots nearly hard to watch without aid of
glasses.
What a joy it is
now for young guys to get their fix on porn by just navigating a
few screens - I've driven hours to get the porn I wanted -
in print or in VHS. Porn has really changed
the way things are presented. It sure beats
moving 15 years of magazines if you relocate from one place to
another!
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