Ultraviolet Thunderpussy's View: Commentary, Vintage Male Photos, Videos.

Its that time of the year again when the sports league that makes it uncomfortable for homosexuals to even exist brings on its supposed best and brightest to work their way to playing in the "big game" (NFL makes it unlawful to mention their over-hyped final game without permission).

In honor of the way the NFL treats homosexuals, I offer my jaded view of their teams and team names as follows:

Saturday, January 3, 2015

"Dingleberry Day"

Carolina Puddytats v. Arizona Red Shitbirds

This is the first documented NFL playoff game that had no quarterbacks playing.    This game had all the hallmarks of a disaster - Carolina had a losing record and was a welfare offering to the football gods.    Arizona had gone through two quarterbacks in the season and started someone who apparently only scores on Chaturbate because he sure did nothing on Saturday.    Carolina won.    They'll be slaughtered next week when they have to play against living competition.   One of the worst games ever played in the playoffs.

 Pittsburgh Rusty Tampax v. Baltimore Women Beaters

Troy Polamola - Long-haired bitch

This game was almost as awful as the game above.    This game featured Ben Rothmothafocka, a serial girl friend abuser of the first order, and the team which made domestic violence and murder household and institutionally, perfectly acceptable, Baltimore.

Also featured in this game was the infamous "hairball" player on the Rusty Tampax team - he wears jersey 43 - he looks like a very ugly woman with long nasty black hair and who hasn't made consistent defensive efforts of note for years - but he does shampoo commercials for what it is worth.

This game was never really close and Baltimore made less bad plays and won the game.    I'm not sure if the Rusty Tampax QB will  go home and beat his wife or kick his dog, but he was largely impotent on the field.

Sunday, January 4, 2015

"Redemption or Mediocrity"

Indianapolis Lucky Charms v. Cincinnati Bungles

This game features the QB that the Washington Deadskins wish they'd paid four draft choices for against a Ginger QB from Cinncy.    I'd like to say that there is peen value here, but I'm not sure there is six inches to split between the two of them.

As I write, this game is in progress and the Lucky Charms just scored.    This might be a good game but I'm not holding my breath.  There is nothing of manhood watching value to this game unless you want to do as I do and watch the crotch shots to see outlines of peen heads.

I suspect Indy will win this but I have no dog in the hunt here - this game is filled with enough dogs with fleas.

Phil Simms
Major League Asswipe

This game is being announced on CBS by Phil Simms, former QB for the NFL's New York Nightmaras, who makes love to himself while covering the game.   He just can't get enough of himself.    Nothing he says makes any sense at all and is often factually inaccurate.    This bloviating jerk is one of the items on my "Bucket List" where I want to smash his face in with my purse.

Update - The Indy Lucky Charms won the game and showed Washington Deaskins' fans what a real first round draft choice looks like as a quarterback instead of that imposter who cost the Deadskins FOUR PREMIUM draft picks over three years.

Dallas Cowpies v. Detroit Pussies

This game has all the interesting aspects of a nude woman - enough boobs to make a straight man cream and enough pussy to keep the incoming Naval fleet happy.     There isn't much here as far as real talent - though there could be head stomping as the Detroit Pussies are one of the most disgusting teams with regard to sportsmanship in the league - and that is saying something.   The Pussies' QB is a fat mothafocka of the first order - QB's aren't supposed to be chubby except when in bed with me, and this guy packs on pounds each off season.    The Cowpies' QB is a serial choker in big games but may have discovered a remedy this season as he didn't lose the last game of the season (but who does against the Deadskins?).     Tony Romo has been in five playoff games and lost four of them.    I don't know if he'll man up and win this but I can't stand Pussy so I will go with the Cowpies.   The problem is that this game is played in some place that isn't Dallas and the Cowpies don't win often at home - this could give Pussies the opportunity to fake it and win a game.

FOX will be covering this game and it is likely that unprofessional and unethical coverage could be displayed as a former Cowpie QB, Troy Barkman, will announce the game.   It used to be that networks did not allow a player who played for a team that is being telecast to announce the game but now the NFL has unprofessional coverage with former NFL prima donnas announcing their own teams and showing bias - Barkman and Simms (in the Indy game) show that just playing the game does not mean you know jack shit about it.   Simms talks out of his ass and Troy Barkman is still experiencing concussion symptoms because nothing he says makes sense.

Dirty Fat Bastard Chris Christie

Update:    Dallas has taken the lead late in the fourth quarter over the Detroit Pussies after an obvious (even to the Network Officials on the TV) defensive pass interference was rescinded against the Cowpies and gave them life they had not earned.   It could be a play that gives the Cowpies the game - an obvious pass interference call that should have been called and penalized that wasn't.

In other news, there was a Dirty Fat Bastard sighting in the owner's box at the Dome of Death (where workers have died during construction) in Arlington, Texas - home stadium of the Dallas (!) Cowpies.

Dirty Fat Bastard, the current blimp of a Governor of New Jersey is a staunch Cowpie fan.    It has been asserted and cannot be proved that this fat ass has lost weight - during the telecast Fat Bastard was seen from a side view and he is still as big as a bus - maybe he is no longer a fleet of buses, but he is still huge and disgusting.

Update:  7:45 p.m.    Detroit failed on fourth down and now hasn't won a playoff game since Daddy Bush, the H. W. one, was President.    Tony Romo, chief choker of football, now has won only his second playoff game in six visits and now will have to play in the Frozen Tundra of Green Bay.    Tony Romo has not won consecutive playoff games in his career.     Dirty Fat Bastard was also seen again in a group hug with normal sized men and Fat Bastard looked even more piggy and disgusting that usual.     It should be noted as a fashion statement that Fat Bastard is wearing the same outfit he wore earlier in December when the Cowpies slaughtered the Indy Lucky Charms.    Just saying....