According to White House sources that asked to remain undisclosed, King Pimple was incensed that the Republicans continued to sit on their arses during his "wonderful speech" Tuesday night. This source that asked to remain hidden from disclosure fearing for his life, his families' life, and the next two generations of his families' lives indicated that "King Pimple went ballistic once off camera. He expects that members of the People's House to be ready to kiss his unwashed ass if asked - he simply will not tolerate people sitting in the audience who refuse to recognize his brilliance. There are tens of thousands of high money contributors who would pay millions to sit before the King in those seats - and next year, King Pimple will auction the Republicans' seats for the Congressional and Senator Campaign funds. The Republicans will be able to sit on the steps of the Capitol with one smartphone where they can view the proceedings live like the rest of the peeons get to do in their homes."
Further insult to injury has been disclosed when the Republican Speaker of the House, John Boner, Part Time Bar Patron and Part Time Drunk, invited a Big Jew who isn't even a citizen to speak before Congress. Said this same source noted above, "King Pimple ranted for hours about how Congress thinks they have the power to determine who speaks before them. The King has clearly established that he needs no invitation to speak and can do so at his will - but to bring forth that Big Nasty Jew from Israel over here is an afront to the Administration's Mooslim Ass Kissing Outreach Program and that Boner better rescind the invite or King Pimple will have to arrest and deport the Big Jew when he steps of his plane on the tarmac."
While we have contacted many sources for this article, only one person would dare risk the wrath of King Pimple by discussing inside information; however, based on discussions I have had with the dozen or so officials who would speak off the record, it can be stated without equivocation that King Pimple sees no need for Congress and will tell the American people that Congress and the Senate will be sent home with pay and will be asked to spend the rest of their time pounding sand and other things during their term. The King wants to implement his ideas immediately and feels that his two elections are all that counts. Congress will be replaced with cut out portraits that will stand at all times so when King Pimple enters, he gets the standing ovation he deserves and applause will be piped in so that all of the appropriate applause pauses will be orchestrated and properly heard on live telecasts - this was an obvious issue in the Tuesday SOU when even Democrats refused to applaud in obvious places and King Pimple tried several times (short of begging) to get applause - nearly throwing him off into a tirade against his own party (which would have resulted in many deaths by plane crashes and other accidental deaths to those members in the months following the speech).
King Pimple will be able to raise taxes immediately on all the hard working members of society and will be able to issue reparations to those he says are victims and there will be no government shutdowns from this point forward. King Pimple will then make it illegal for the Republican party to exist and all members of the Tea Party will be required to teabag livestock until their tongues dry up and fall out of their mouths or they drown in manure that will pile up over their faces - whichever comes first.
Yes, King Pimple has turned the page - he is now in the Chapter called "Payback is hell, bitches."
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