There is perhaps nothing more disgusting when driving a vehicle than to have someone riding your vehicle's bumper as if that vehicle were drafting at Daytona.
Since turning 45 years ago, I see things quite differently than I used to - I no longer travel above the speed limit thinking that I can selfishly assume the ability to ignore the law while others obey it. Perhaps it is because I sense my own mortality or because I've matured to the point of obeying laws makes sense when it comes to personal safety.
And now that I travel legal posted speeds and not a hair over, I also drive in the slow lane. I comply with the intent of the law and will not be passing other vehicles (except if they are traveling slower than the speed limit and I have to pass them or I yield that lane to merging traffic in an act of kindness rarely shown these days).
I've noticed in the last year or so an increasing number of instances when people are riding my bumper for no apparent reason - lanes to my left are not clogged - there is ample time and distance for these miscreant drivers to pass, but they cling to me like they are a gold digger wanting my wallet and riches.
I have tried several tactics avoiding the obvious "brake-checking" one where I put on my brakes to activate the brake lights (I don't want to wreck my paid off car or to cause death to an innocent motorist who has no dog in this hunt - it might be different if the one I could send to hell were the tailgater on a guaranteed trip to hell). I have tried speeding up - going five over the speed limit - that just increases the speed of the close proximity road train with my following driver maintaining too close for comfort distance at a higher speed. I have used the gradual deceleration trick but that only seems to close the distance still closer and to then result in a driver who finally gets it and passes and swerves toward my front fender after a few minutes.
The only conclusion I have is that tailgaters are complete assholes - too stupid to make a move - too selfish thinking that lane is theirs and intent on just pissing off the driver in front of them through intimidation. Knowing that nothing short of causing a 20 car pileup will resolve this mess (and I'm not going to move out of the way for someone too focking lazy to do it themselves), I have decided to cling to my pearl necklace, invoke our Savior's name and then to utter course words out loud while ignoring the twat following me too closely.
Being as anal as I am, I notice patterns easily. And I can state without equivocation that two brands of cars are the most offensive ones on the road with their drivers thinking they are all that and a bag of chips and to hell with everyone else. Drivers and owners of Hondas and Toyotas are the assholes of the road - for some reason these brands are driven and owned by the least intelligent and nastiest people on the road today. These fools are selfish and arrogant and need to be called out.
With there being really nothing that can be done while traveling, I advocate for a swift death penalty to these drivers. It should not be a case where drivers that obey the laws and speed limits should have to endure torment from asshole Honda and Toyota drivers who think they own the road. Whether through heart attack, death by stupidity, or even public execution where their Honda and Toyota vehicle are dropped onto their heads while the drivers are strapped to a hefty and substantial wooden chair, these drivers need to be removed from our roadways never to be allowed to drive again. Perhaps after a few of these pieces of shit are squashed by their poor personal choice for vehicle, maybe the rest of the country will wake up.
If a vehicle is not traveling fast enough for you, assholes, change lanes and pass them. If you remain on my bumper I will guarantee you that I shall not speed up one mile per hour and I will certainly ensure that my accelerator foot gets some rest and I will remove five miles per hour from my traveling speed just to make you even more self-righteous.
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