FOX News has selected the top ten Republicons for the first debate. I will comment on each of these fine dwarves and mental midgets and offer the following:
Donald Trump
Well, he's made billions - filed for bankruptcy several times - divorced - fired many people with pleasure - and he's brash and loud. He is the anti-King Pimple of a Man - he speaks his mind instead of overtly lying and double speaking. King Pimple is a racist who uses and exploits non-blacks for his political gain and then insults them at every turn. Trump hates illegal aliens. Nice.
Shrubber
He's brother to W and is the seminal product of a thousand points of not so bright lights. He's easily overweight and is a RINO - he could find himself on a Trump RINO hunting trip along with the back-stabbing sisterhood of Lindsay Grahamnesty and his buttmunch lover John McCain.
Scott Walker
He couldn't finish college and loves to torture unions. I see the sweetness of his appeal.
Mike Huckabee
God will laugh at this fart when he walks up to the Pearly Gates. God will pull the handle to send him to hell and Huckabee will be suspended in mid-air. Then Satan will shove the largest pencil up Huckabee's ass and spin him round. And gone will be Huckabee. If you wanted to see what a flea would look like in human form, he's the picture in the dictionary.
Ben Carson
He's black and he was a brain surgeon. He thinks gays become that way from a tour of duty in prison. Well, isn't that special!
Ted Cruz
He's brash and almost American. He hates King Pimple and gives him hell. I admire a man who hates evil.
Marco Rubio
I somehow imagine him in 10 years joining Bruce Jenner in the "Grow a set of boobs club"
Rand Paul
Sounds like his daddy and makes as much sense. Daddy was senile.
Chris Christie
He's running on the "less is more" ticket. Less fat. Less King Pimple ass-kissing. And less time impeding traffic on a bridge.
John Kasich
Sounds like a german sandwich roll. Don't worry, you'll still be asking "Where's the Beef?"
And now we find the people even Republicons find vomit-inducing.Rick Perry
He was governor of Texas and proves that everything is bigger in Texas. Even turds.
Rick Sanitorium
Voted most likely to harvest a 10 pound booger out of his nose and try to eat it while in High School, Rick Sanitorium is a pod person and was formerly a member of the Children of the Corn. The children kicked him to the curb when he just wouldn't pull his finger out of his nose.
Bobby Jindal
At least King Pimple could read a teleprompter.
Carly Fingerinhervajayjay
If she were in a binder filled with women, she'd be the kotex saleswoman.
Lindsay Grahamnesty
Oh how do I count the ways I loathe thee? You are a butt munch John McCain ass-kisser. You identify as a man even though your gender suggests you are a big pussy. Your polling numbers were so low but at least you voted for yourself several times while everyone else went home to hide from the pollsters. Apparently Lindsay has picked up a new hobby - smashing his cellphones. It is suspected that illegal aliens refuse to rape and murder him. That is how unpopular he is.
George Pistachio
If he were green he'd have one positive quality.
Jim Gilmore
As exciting a guy as an undertaker. At least he cut our property taxes while Governor of Virginia. I'm not sure why he's running as a Republican. He has to beat 16 others. If he were a Democrat, he'd just have to deal with Kankles the Klown.
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