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This is not a joke. Those whose first actions in this country are breaking the law by setting foot on American soil without any legal permission is to have their illegality converted into legal status and then to bastardize American law by demanding freebies that they otherwise have no legal or constitutional claim to obtain. An immigrant-rights group proposed a “Bill of Rights” for illegal immigrants Thursday, demanding that Americans recognize there are millions already in the country who deserve health care, in-state tuition rates for college and a guarantee of citizenship in the long term. The list of demands runs 10 items long — the same as the U.S. Constitution’s Bill of Rights — and also calls for an end to arrests and deportations for “all law-abiding undocumented Americans.” The document was circulated by United We Stay, which is a group of illegal immigrants, first generation Americans and human rights activists pushing for changes to immigration law. PHOTOS: Top 10 handguns in the U.S. “We know we have human rights, even though our very presence is deemed illegal and our existence alien. Now we have our own Bill of Rights and we want it to be the framework for every immigration decision going forward from the local to the national level,” the group said in a statement announcing their demands. The 10 points include a demand that they be accorded respect; calls for citizenship rights and an immediate deferment of deportations; in-state tuition at public colleges; “wage equality”; medical care; and protection against deportation if illegal immigrants report a crime as a witness. The list also includes a specific demand for “compelled authorization of birth certificates for our U.S.-born children.” That appears to be pushback against the state of Texas, where officials have ruled that parents must present valid ID to get children’s birth certificates — and have deemed the Mexican government’s Matricula Consular ID card not to be acceptable as primary identification. The list of rights begins with a protest against the terms “illegal” and “alien.” Immigrant-rights advocates say both terms are dehumanizing, and have offered “undocumented workers” or, in the case of United We Stand, “Undocumented Americans,” as their preferred term. The document is meant to serve as a goalpost for the ongoing immigration debate. Immigrant-rights groups had been gaining ground in recent years, with polls suggesting Americans were increasingly open to legalization. You can read the entire vomit-inducing article by going to here. UV's Illegal Immigration Bill of Rights The Law is the Law Deal with it miscreants You have no right to enter our country without our permission. You have the right to be held in contempt and to be insulted. Free Return Trip Back to Your Hell You can fully expect your law-breaking ass to be sent back to where you came from without it costing you a dime or bloody peso. Free Room and Board If you dare set foot back on American soil you will expect to be granted life-time incarceration in one of our wonderful federal prisons where you can expect to receive three free meals of leftovers from Taco Bell and to sleep on a bed made of used cinder blocks.    You'll get a newspaper after the prison dogs have done their business for your reading enjoyment. Free Terror As your presence here is full of illegality, we won't have to hunt you down like dogs.   We'll instead terrorize your employers and landlords who shall end up in prison, fined out of business, and whose property shall be auctioned off to a needy American citizen family.   We will spare no amount of contempt for you. Speak English or Die. If you want things written in spanish, go back to the hell hole you came from. Otherwise, learn English. Out of Universe Tuition Rates Since you cannot claim that you are a legal resident of any state, you can expect to pay through the nose and universe for a college education.    You will be charged per credit hour what an out of state student would pay for annual tuition.    Books will cost you 100x the rate posted in the bookstore. Admission Ticket Fee Due Crossing our border without legal permission also carries with a ticket price for admission.    This will cost you the highest daily ticket price of all American amusement parks combined for every day you have stolen your presence here. Go to the End of the Longest Line Since you selfishly think you should get legal status by jumping in front of those who are doing it legally, you will experience the rules of NASCAR and your infractions shall place to you at the end of the longest line for citizenship.    And since you will have to book your legal status a century in advance, you will die trying. Citizens Get Ten Rights You get shit.   Deal with it.