According to our sources in California and all points nearby, we have been able to shift the blame for the killing of 14 innocent Americans by Syed Rizwan Farook Skyhook (SRFS) and his reproductive partner Tashfeen Malik Skyhook (TMS) to one Jewish person - who also managed to be killed after opening his pie hole.
UV News has learned that a loud mouth Messianic Jewish person had the audacity to discuss his religion with SRFS and this offended the Mooslim. According to the current Department of Justice Head, Loretta Lynch, it is now illegal to dare to offend any mooslim and this Messianic Jew got what he deserved by daring to "offend" a mooslim. Lynch noted that it is perfectly fine to insult white people, white males, and Christians, but to noodle any mooslim is punishable by time in jail and having to lick Moochelle Obama's snatch.
We were taken aback at the tone of the day's news as we learned that these two homicidal individuals were able to obtain guns that are illegal in California and that California is often used by leftist swine as nirvana when it comes to gun control and raping the Second Amendment of the Constitution.
It is thus that the UV News service has learned that the real killer of the 14 people was in fact a loud Jewish mouth and not two militant mooslims just practicing their faith as they see fit and to hell with the rest of us.
A DAY FILLED WITH HA HA MOMENTS
While some in the media were blaming the loud-mouthed Jew for torquing off a mooslim (who by virtue of being a mooslim are free from being offended by law), there was more hysterically funny ways to shift blame from these two mooslims to some other reason.
Post Partem Blues
Erin Burnett from CNN had the audacity to claim that the killer who had a vajayjay that had six months earlier been an exit wound for a fetus who made it full term was really suffering from post partem blues and thus she should be treated with kid gloves. The UV News Service has learned that women who kill their own children are often given this fake excuse because it is convenient to use. Women, as were are told by the left, are equal to men, but there are times they aren't equal and there are special excuses to explain away homicidal actions. And yes, that time of the month can be one of them. So we have to now blame the killing of 14 innocent people on a post partem cunt as well as a loud mouthed jew and a weak and spineless mooslim male who can't handle that "my jewish god kicks your mooslim god's ass" bumper sticker.
Where is her picture?
It is queer that we see scores of pictures of SRFS but at no time since these two assumed pavement temperature, have we seen the picture of the post partem killer. Why is that? Is it because she actually was wearing a Burka over her battle gear and she was one tough ass momma firing and aiming through that eye slit of her burka? Would having her pictured in a Burka make it so obvious that she was a mooslim?
Hen Pecked SRFS.
There are also claims that the Burka Bitch hen-pecked her poor spineless mooslim semen donor and that he was merely going along for the ride and she made him do this. While this might seem outrageous, the very same situation happens daily at the White House between Barack and Moochelle.
Don't Say ISLAM!
Much has been done to distance these two killers from the religion of Islam - the ultimate religion of peace. It is odd that the left will insult Christians and claim that Methodists, Catholics, MCC'ers, Baptists, and a host of other blends of the Christian faith as being CHRISTIANS, but when an organization is called ISIS and first I stands for "Islam" that cannot be clained as a flavor of Islam - it is something totally different! Hell, Catholics don't even call themselves Christian in their flavor name but they are Christians according to Leftists, but the organization that actually has Islam in it has nothing to do with Mooslims.
Mooslims are afraid.
Like I give a shit. As far as I'm concerned these spineless bastards who call themselves Mooslims have no place in my heart for love and respect. Every week there are reports of how gay men are thrown off buildings and if they manage to survive as blood gushes out of their cracked open skulls, lovely mooslims stone the remains of the gay men to finish off what the four or more story fall could not. I guess the mooslims that are afraid to live here are just too busy to demand that the non-mooslim mooslims learn how to be tolerant! I'm so sorry. I'll be as tolerant as your practitioners show and fock you. I'm also too lazy to throw your ass off a building. I might break a nail or get my long white gloves dirty with your shit.
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