Lesbian Group Sues Makers of 100% Parmesan Cheese for Fraud. The cheese contained wood.
This news about tainted powdered cheese has not gone over well with women who dig women. You see, lesbians don't enjoy eating wood. In fact, they revolt against the thought of putting wood in their mouths.
And now the lesbian community is going to make cheese makers' lives hell for feeding them fake cheese that was really made with wood powder.
In the lesbian world, you don't put wood in your mouth.
"Here I am eating my canned spaghetti sauce and my store brand pasta that cost two for a dollar and thinking that I am going to have a meat free meal - and then without my knowledge, someone slipped wood into my cheese topping. When I found out that I had wood in my mouth, I nearly barfed it all up. Thankfully I made it to the sink rather than causing a projectile explosion across the table at my poor Fern," said Marge, a 250 pound lesbian transportation mechanic.
News is now making the talk show circuit, particularly "The Talk" where Julie Chen was flabbergasted that her 100% Parmesan cheese was actually 92.2% real cheese and the rest made of a virgin pine tree. Sharon Osborne commented that she always wondered why she was constipated after a good Ragu Chunky Vegetable meat free spaghetti covered with a mountain of Kraft Grated Parmesan Cheese on top.
Marge continues, "I have lesbian friends who are currently seeking counseling for having wood in their mouths without any prior disclosure or warning. Some of my friends in fact have spent a week flushing their mouths out and only stopping to consume tuna, which right now is wood free. And my friends are saying that they have substituted tree food for seafood. It's that bad!"
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