I've previously written on the sad state of vehicle drivers based upon the most common brands driven by assholes - Honduhs, Toyoduhs, and now Mazduhs. You can't be competent, intelligent, and a good driver when you own one of those brands. These are the most likely assholes to tailgate you when you are driving in the slow lane and a passing lane is completely empty.
But now I take this a step further...
Today's drivers are almost always assholes.
I drive the speed limit. I want to arrive in one piece.
I drive in the slow lane. I impede no one's desire to arrive to their funeral at above legal posted speeds.
But I've found that in other occasions, there has been a rise in head up the ass driving that threatens us all.
First, there is a rise in passing on the shoulder lane. This is never a transit lane unless you are an emergency vehicle or if your car breaks down and you need to pull out of the traffic lane. But this lane is never intended so that you can advance your position on the highway when you are too lazy to wait for the left lane to open so that you can violate several traffic laws. I've had this happen several times lately with the last one invoking the most unpleasant reaction within myself - and I drifted to the right just to make the miscreant's pass on the right more hair-raising than he had planned. I didn't drift over the line separating my lane from the shoulder, but I crowded it distinctly to express my displeasure. I did have an urge, I'll admit, to have a flat tire so that I could send this blivethead to his grave on the spot. But I resisted the urge.
Another item I have noticed is that people use the passing lane on a four lane or more lane road to go past you only to cut you off to then exit to the right; it does not matter if there are several car lengths behind you, the asshole driver won't lower himself to being in second place to the ramp. These jerks will go from the center lane, to the right lane, and to the exit lane in one NASCAR like move.
He must win!
So he'll disregard the proper and safe merge onto the right exit. He'll not go behind the car that is in the front for the exit. He'll pass the car at the first part of the exit, cross into the lane in front, and then go onto the exit lane as if he just won the Daytona 500. This happens so regularly now that I now speed up just to make this pass impossible or I hope he tries it and wrecks my car. I'm tired of being the target of stupid driver's affection. I will now drive offensively just to offend you. Of course I don't want to wreck my car - its paid off and I like it - but it is time that the miscreants start to feel the displeasure I have to avoid wrecking them when I'm obeying the law and the miscreant is not.
Miscreants who tailgate toward red lights. This is so commonplace that I now don't give a flying monkey's ass - I'll intentionally coast to the red light so that the driver who was tailgating me at posted speed limit will get upset. I am UV. I am a beatch. And by the time I arrive at the stop light, you'll be calling me beatch like you've never called it before. I just don't see the sense of trying to arrive at a stop light before everyone else does. Apparently there are some real heels as drivers who think that arriving 5 seconds earlier to a stop light makes the whole experience of sitting at a stoplight that much more pleasant!
The incompetent merge into a highway from on onramp dirver. This special bread of shortbus driver somehow doesn't check his mirror or appear to understand the concept of using the accelerator to advance his speed to that of the already moving traffic on the highway. There are times when I can move to the left in a temporary move to allow a lane for said head up the asshole personage to take my spot on the highway. But there are times when there is actual traffic to my left and then I slow down just a tad (there are often drivers - sometimes tailgaters behind me) so I create a space where there was none and then flash my lights to signal that I am allowing you to get in front of me.
Yes, the Honduh and Toyoduh drivers are the most idiotic of the bunch - they don't know how to use an accelerator to get onto a highway (but they do know how to speed ahead of you to get off the highway. Go figure). I had a blivethead Toyoduh Corolla driver just today fail to recognize the space in front of me - the double flashed lights - and then I noticed he had a crazy Bernard bumper sticker. I was so ready to close the gap and to make this jerk run out of merge lane, but I took a couple of deep breaths and wished the clown a heart attack and finally this idiot Toyoduh driver figured out he had to enter the highway at below posted speed or he would run out of room.
And then he found the accelerator and then proceeded to cross two lanes of traffic.
I kid you not.
And so here we have it - the rise of America's great incompetence - as we see more Toyoduhs and Honduhs on the road, we'll be seeing more idiots who just wing it when they drive and they expect that their superior choice of automobile will supercede your right to occupy that lane when they want it.

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