That is how I felt when I took one dump, er, look at this first grader's effort at a Presidential painting.
Oh, sure, the detail of the wood grain used on this toilet portrait is quite stunning.
And so are the details of his face as it is transfixed in evacuating his high crimes and misdemeanors that are now plopping upon the political landscape with the ripe aroma that hits the nostrils like one of his four footed children having left something on the bottom of his shoe.
This is pure shit - pure unadultered amateur shit - a horrific blend of a photograph with enough amateurish leaves to give us the impression that there is no Charmin available to complete the narrative of America's biggest shit.
Here we have King Pimple of a Man - in a not so elegant portrayal of his "me, my, I, and only me" persona that is masterful in making him into coppertone while also giving us the impression that he has one monster hunk of manhood hiding while he's using the royal squatty potty. And don't think for a minute that the obvious use of the King's fingers spread out in obvious length is not intended to elongate the impression of his manhood even as he is merely a pimple of one.
The artist is a genius - he managed to take the King's nose in the air persona and pushed it down out of the arrogance of his natural weather formation and gave us a glimpse at what the smartest man ever born looks like when he shits on his native country not named Kenya.
It is a glorious photographic touchup where the nuances of the suit without a tie and without the American flag shimmers in the sunlight of transparency all the while the poison ivy he cultivated is all around him as if to shield his sorry ass from the impending shit storm of America's largest political scandal in history - using government agencies to hunt down his political enemies and trying to cover up Witch Hillary's propensity for treating America's laws as applicable to everyone but her.
We do have pops of color in this photo that is not unlike the fragments of unprocessed corn in the shittage. The artist has managed to both master the concept of light and shadow and to totally forget it everywhere something green isn't lingering. This is pretty damn close to a Looney Tunes representation of the King in a Royal Shit Skit - awkward on all levels and inherently detailed in others and amateurish in its overall composition.
I can't imagine that King Pimple of a Man wants his final image to be so realistic as he is captured doing what he actually did to America for eight years - he took one long dump on everything that mattered and institutionalized everything that didn't.
Now if only he'd wipe with that abundant poison ivy.
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