Pentagon is in a panic - Arlington National Cemetery is running out of space for service corpses and is now considering a plan to impose a four foot tall maximum on new recruits in order to future proof Arlington for future burials.
According to unnamed sources, Arlington National Cemetery is due to reach maximum capacity in 25 years and all options are being considered to provide room for future corpse burials.
"We've considered amputating legs and requiring caskets of four feet or less but it might just be easier to find midgets and assorted little people who can fight for our country. This could have cascading benefits as we can build smaller planes and tanks and submarines and we'll save on uniform costs as well," said an Obama hold over in the Department of Defense who refused to be identified as Donald J. Trump has declared war on deep state operatives who have historically brown nosed King Pimple of a Man for years. "And it is not like we'd be tossing the legs out in the trash or selling them to Cannibal Nation for barbeques. We'd just lop off the legs and then stick them inside the casket. Nothing would be lost other than two feet of burial space requirements. And it is not like the pathetic warmongers are going to miss the attached status of their legs."
In other news, Moochelle Obama is considering her own personal library which will be built next to the new Chicago High School that is being built on top of over 30,000 pauper, unmarked graves.
Humor based on truth is just so delicious.
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