Consumer Reports finally gets Elon Muskrat, purveyor of the Ponzi Scheme known as Tesla Motors, to remove himself from in front of a mirror in order to fix the shitty brakes that it took Consumer Reports to discover in a recent test.
Consumer Reports found that the new Tesla Model 3 is such a piece of shit that it takes 150 feet to stop from 60 miles per hour. A Motor Trend test in 1950 of a 1950 Nash found it took 166 feet to stop. Ford builds pickup trucks that stop in 120 feet just as a point how awful Tesla's products are at stopping.
According to an unnamed (and embarrassed) spokesperson for Tesla, "We really never see a need to test to see how our products' brakes work. In fact, I don't think we even have a test to see if our products will stop if needed. We build a superior product and tests like that waste our time when we need to build more shit faster and to do it with quality that is worse than American Motors in the 1970's."
Consumer Reports, the official fanboi publication of all things made by the ugly sisters, Hon and Toyo, was so outraged by the performance of the Model 3 that they borrowed a car from an owner and found that it too sucked and refused to stop within modern standards of cars without Fred Flinstone feet added for braking power.
Another Tesla Model 3 owner has had so many problems with his Model 3 that he had to construct a google doc spreadsheet to track all of the quality flaws and out and out product failures of his car.
It should be noted that Tesla borrowed $500 million from the American Taxpayers and has not paid the money back - and Tesla leveraged additional loans on promises it could build 10,000 Model 3's per month; currently the company throws together about 3,500 Model 3's and parks them outside the factory so that the obvious defects can be fixed and is promising to do the same to the 5,000 it will build this month.
Elon Muskrat wants everyone to know that he builds space ships and can send his personal Tesla roadster to Mars and hopes you will accept his promise that he can build a Model 3 that will stop for $35k even though he just introduced a Model 3 priced at double the cost with the same brakes - a new performance model.
Just what America needs - another Tesla built like shit with shitty brakes that can go twice as fast.
No word yet if the autopilot works or if the next accident will be blamed on the customer (post mortem).
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