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Meet Michael Rotondo. He's a fraud-sexual. His mancard has been revoked. Lesbians want nothing to do with him since he's a mooch.
He's 30 years old and feels entitled to living free at his parents' house where he can conduct questionable personal grooming habits and get free shit from the people who humped and produced him.
Michael is your average American snowflake. He's lazy. He's stupid. He's entitled. And what is your shit is his because it is outrageous to think otherwise.
In most households Daddy tells Junior to get the fuck out and a sense of manhood crosses the mind of Junior and he leaves to find a place where he can bed the babes in private without mom's preconditions.
But Michael is not a man - and even lesbians don't want to claim him as a woman. And he's 30 years old and probably hasn't found the ambition to find his peen to do anything other than to piss in water he doesn't have to pay for.
Mom and Dad have had it with their reproductive regret. They've taken their Snowflake Queen to court to force his ass outta here - and the Snowflake Queen has the audacity to call the move "outrageous'. I kinda agree with him - Mom and Dad should have changed the locks and thrown his shit onto the front lawn in a pouring rain and left him a letter that says even moving toward the front or back door will result in Papa pointing a loaded gun out the window and Dad means business.
But alas, Mom and Dad had to take Junior to Court. Apparently Junior has been given numerous hints and notices to get his hairy, ugly, fat ass out of the house but he somehow feels a decade is far too short a time to get his unwiped ass out of the building.
"They made me, they need to feed me and to make sure I have clothes and free food and a dry bed; I even compromised with Mom and told her she only has to do my laundry once every two weeks and she can change my sheets then too. I don't think that is too much to ask, " snortled Michael as he contemplated how to open a can of beans and how he's going to warm up the contents since he hasn't mastered magic yet.
New York State Supreme Court Justice Donald Greenwood delivered his verdict, "I want you outta of that house" and used his right index finger to indicate where Michael can go.
Of course Michael was not pleased and he has the audacity to declare he will appeal the decision. This reporter wonders how he'll pay for legal services since he's not black or an illegal alien whom would be funded by several leftist terrorist organizations to prove a point of how downtrodden either is in America that is now Great Again.
Micheal pleaded for more time and had the audacity to approach the bench without kissing the Judge's ass.
Big mistake.
The judge snorted, "Sir, I've already ruled."
I'm not sure what made Michael more angry - that the judge called him sir or was so forceful in delivering a rebuke when all Michael wanted was another decade to learn how to unzip his own fly to piss outside of his shorts on his own."
Additional Information
Michael Snowflake lost his job eight years ago and moved back home with mom and dad. They offered him over $1000 to have him move out and to take his ratty VW Passat off their driveway. Michael took the cash and didn't move out and opined that he spent the money on expenses; currently Michael has his own website business and has been seen working on websites in pink panties while stroking his hair and wishing he were Chlamydia Kardashian Jenner.
Michael claims he buys his own food and does his own laundry. Looking at him there is no proof he does either since he is quite the sight for even a homeless person.
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