I do so enjoy these occasions.
I loathe this pathetic piece of human debris.
Watching him is like watching a stopped clock - he'll be remarkable twice - and then he'll be a joke that just keeps delivering laughs by the hours.
I have to say that there is nothing about this human turd that I like. When he wore the Ford oval I never spit up. I was beside myself with lemon freshen joy. Complete with the indian accent and a node to "Short Circuit".
Up to this point, the highlight of the lame brain, Phil Chokelson was his complete meltdown during a Master's tournament in which he repeatedly hit balls into the water and acted like he was clueless in how to avoid doing so on successive shots. And while the golf pundits want to protect Phil's nasty fat ass and label another recent golfer's meltdown as the worst, it goes without saying that Phil's was so delicious in its comedy value that no one did it better than him.
You see, Phil has a face that proves that having one IQ point is just enough to get you to live and to breathe at the same time. And if you commit your life to adultery and to fraud like Phil has, you can earn wealth of the course when your blivethead funny looks suggests you just aren't ready for prime time.
And then there was the Chokelson moment of Chokelson moments.
The USA Today reported today, "Phil Mickelson’s adventure on the 13th
hole at Shinnecock Hills in the third round of the U.S. Open on Saturday
will go down as one of the odder moments of his Hall of Fame career (editorial note - apparently talent, winning, and ability to play golf don't matter getting one into the Golf Hall of Fame).
The
six-time U.S. Open runner-up jogged after his ball after missing a putt
on the 13th green and struck it before it stopped moving — incurring a
two-stroke penalty under Rule 14-5 for hitting a ball in motion — and
walked off the hole with a sextuple-bogey 10 (Editorial comment: I didn't know you could go that high on the professional tour with such a bad score; in the rule book, the penalty for exceeding a quadruple bogey is a gunshot between the eyes. Chokelson exceeded that threshold by two shots. There should have been brain stem matter and skull fragments on the course with Phil starring up at the stars with his gaping clown smile frozen for all eternity. Such did not happen. Damn.)
He shot an 11-over 81. On his 48th birthday, no less. (Editorial comment: And what is striking is that he likely still doesn't recognize what he did as he's gone home and prepared for bed time with his jammies and his teddy bear named "teddy bear".)
His
approach on the 366-yard hole went long and right and his ensuing chip
rolled past the pin and off the green. He then chipped 18 feet past the
hole. His first putt missed on the right side and kept going. Mickelson
saw that his ball was going to crest a ridge and likely roll off the
green again, so he jogged after it and stroked it while it was still
moving. (Editorial comment: He stroked a MOVING ball. Even Putt Putt golf neanderthals know you have to wait until your ball stops. But then again, this is a Hall of Fame golfer! ROFL!)
That putt hit the lip and finished some 5 feet past
the hole. Mickelson’s next putt missed and he tapped in for a 10 — eight
strokes, including four putts, plus the two-shot penalty.
THE FAILED PROTEST BY A WHITE FAKE ATHLETE DURING A NON NATIONAL ANTHEM INSULT PROTEST
Mickelson
said he was not trying to make a point about the course set-up or the
speed of the greens and added that he meant no disrespect to the game,
his competitors or the United States Golf Association. (Editorial comment: No one would dare thing that a golfing fraud like Chokelson was protesting anything. This guy commits fraud with a straight face.)
“Look,
I don’t mean disrespect to anybody,” he said. “I know it’s a two-shot
penalty. At that time, I just didn’t feel like going back and forth and
hitting the shot over. I took the two-shot penalty and moved on. It’s my
understanding of the rules. I’ve had multiple times when I’ve wanted to
do that. I just finally did.”
(Editorial Comment: The last paragraph is just precious. What he really said was, "I'm old, I'm lazy, I'm a fat man with huge man boobs. I was tired of playing this hole and just figured I'd take a two shot penalty for cheating and we'd all move on to a different hole where I could make ya'll laugh anew. Remember this is a Hall of Fame golfer! ROFL!)
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