Ultraviolet Thunderpussy's View: Commentary, Vintage Male Photos, Videos.

Episode Four There is something in the air according to Simon Cowell. So true.   That is the smell of nasty children and dog shit.  Up to this point, season 13 has been as unremarkable a year for talent as any - the magic acts are all frauds with the complicity of the producers of the show using camera angles to mask the fraud of the contestants.   This is not slight of hand.   This is an insult to our eyes.  Season 13 also has had to do its fair share of importing acts to make the shit meatloaf that is being shoveled down our throats.   Whether it is the Sushi Sybil that brings the doll of death on stage with her as she wears a matching creepy girl outfit or its the other acts that get to show "America's Got Talent" when apparently we don't since we're trucking them in like illegal aliens and their coyotes. We've had no shortage of snotty children on this show - if they weren't children, there would be no reason to advance them to the live shows - but because they are cute (not my words), we should be kind and loving. If it involves children, it's just gotta be good.   I don't think so. First act is a child act - a children's choir - that had no standout quality at all - you've heard this (and endured it) at school performances.    Golf claps are in order so we don't send the choir members to the nearest closet where they can wrap a belt around their necks and end it all over the use of truth about their act.     This group is simply unremarkable.    I nearly fell out of my chair when resident panelist who rarely deals in reality, Howie Mandel, agreed with my assessment that this was just ordinary.    This group would not even be considered to audition for the remake of "Sister Act" with Whoopass Goldturd.   Now if the children were using butter knives and poking each other's eyes out or using "Allahfuckbar" and cutting off the white boys' heads, that would be remarkable and we could send the severed heads onto the next round.
Couples.   And a couple with nearly 35 years age difference. Next up is two adults - you know this is going to be shit when Simon asks if they are a couple and the fish strongly denies it with significant arm movement (indicating in the NFL an incomplete pass); the man is obviously just a prop.    Oops - this is an entire compilation of couples and how they respond to being asked if they are a couple.   Could be the best part of season 13!   A man married 48 years looked so thrilled to be on stage that his toupe was the star of the show - looked like tinfoil put through a paper shredder and then glued to a possum and then glued to his head.   It was the star of the show!    It would not be season 13 without imported "talent" - we have up Quinn and Misha who has an ancient female prop who had skin so baggy that you could have put Roseanne in there and still had room for Joy Reid.   This might be the first case of Tsunami wrinkles ever on a human neck.   And no, they aren't a real couple or even a euphemism couple.   Oddly, her face is pulled so tight that a wrong move could pop the zit of a head.   Oh, she's 71 - that's why she's looking like that.  Oriental woman is at least funny.    Oh, joy - they are dancing - grave dancing - nothing more repulsive than a fish past her expiration date trying to look like she's 30 again.  It wasn't bad.  It just was unremarkable.   It was so unremarkable that no video exists of them. Another foreigner - is this magic or is this the power of the mind? This guy is a mentalist from Israel.   He moves things with his mind.   I bet he can't move Hillary Clinton's fat ass kankles with his mind!   My description is the best thing about the act.   It was horrible.   He did make my bowels move.   Two "x's" from the ones who usually gobble up shit acts like it is a buffet.  Simon removed his "x" - sends the foreigner through.   I can't believe it.   So I can torture you, I provide the video.   You'll laugh.  You'll cry.   You'll call me beatch.
Child Lee.   The Singer.   Only child in his family.   He asked Trump for a separation and settled for America's Got Talent instead.  We had to also import this act from Canaydia.   Toronto. Thirteen year old who wants a German Sheppard to play with.    Hint - go to a kennel.    And keep the dog away from your parents who actually have bought you a dozen dogs but ate them.   Simon says he'll buy Lee a dog if he does well.    He was actually quite good - started like a mouse.   Then finished strong.   The best thing is that he isn't a girl.  And Lee has a new dog, thanks to Simon.  Easily top five of this season.   I realize that isn't much of a compliment considering I can't think of five acts for the top placement.
We interrupt this show to provide commercials for the 93rd installment of "Jurassic Park" and they continue to get the Raptors wrong - the evidence shows these were actually like evil chickens and they had feathers.   And then we have fat Rachel Ray (also known as Miss Piggy when she's in the kitchen).  I wouldn't feed my dog anything she cooks.   I don't have a dog.    Problem solved. What?   Two mens without shirts on and they were hot and you don't show them?   WTF! Another light show.    Don't even need to watch more of this - hated it - this is so last year.   Move on.   Maybe the Israeli mover and shaker can make them get the fuck off the stage.  Imported act - appeared on Britian's Got Talent - imported from Russia.  So fucking sick of this imported shit and acts that appeared on other country's shows.   Fuck off.   The only good point of this act was there was not a woman on it.
Take two of these and call me in the morning.   Simon makes a singer learn another song.   Doesn't do this to a female.  Apparently Simon was experiencing menopause because he arbitrarily told a male performer to sing another song and then chastised him for not having a second song to perform; obviously this guy was not imported and had not already appeared on twenty other countries' shows, so he looked unprepared; Simon pulled an obscure song out of his British ass and then had the guy go learn it - likely this guy had never heard the song before.   He sang in Italian and fucking nailed it.    We finally have a REAL star!   Fucking Ay!   This guy deserved a golden buzzer and didn't get it.   Proves the female bias on this show.   Got a cunt and you get a pass for it.
Another disgusting foreign act - Japanese jerk who plays with table cloths.  I refuse to dignify this shit with a video.  Howie loved it.   No one else did.   Just when you thought there was going to be talent shown, we get another dog turd. Mary and Tice.   Trapeze  act.   Tice has an eye disease (more sob story); they are married.   And they're good. Tice is smoking hot.   Came out bare-chested and he has an eye disease and can't see really well right now.   I hope he does drop her.    I'll be his seeing eye fuck.   They were actually quite good and talented.   And they weren't imported and were so genuine.
Daughter of a stupid daredevil from last year.    Absolutely hate this shit. I refuse to promote this with a video.   Garbage. Amanda.   15 year old fish singer.   She's from Boston via Dominican Republic and a Bullied Sob Story.   Oh, grow the fuck up.   Her parents haven't yet learned English. I'm not moved at all to like this.   This is yet another act which sings a song that impersonates the original singer - not great at all - so what if she sounds like a good cover of the original - make this cunt sing a song to show what she can do - treat her equally to the man you insulted.   Total shit.  If she weren't latino, she'd have been tossed aside.   I refuse to promote this shit with a video.   This is the type of low rent shit that is labeled as "sung in the style of..."   Of course she got the gold buzzer - give her stuff without earning it - totally shit.   If this cunt had talent you'd ask her to sing a second song - total sexist shit - total pandering to latinos.