Over at Tesla's Muskrat Central, things aren't looking so rosey for America's latest version of the Ponzi scheme.
Tesla is running out of cash.
Things have gotten so bad over at Tesla that there isn't enough money to pay for the Windex that keeps Elon's admiration mirrors clean. The picture of the company's finances is as murky as Elon's ability to suck face with a crystal clear mirror visage of himself.
How bad are things at Muskrat Central?
How about a company that is asserted as having had $2.7 billion in cash on hand (while not making enough in profits to ever have such an amount) and it is burning through this cash at the rate of over $500 million a month.
The introduction of the supposed $35k Muskrat Mobile otherwise known as the number one plus number two mobiles, is still in the distance as it seeks to fulfill only the orders of the idiots who will pay $50k or more for the biohazard disaster. And to make matters worse, those who actually were stupid enough to plunk down a deposit to be able to place an order for one of these are now required to raise their offerings to electric Muskrat to the tune of $2,500. And you better want the $70k version of the Model 3 (double the power, double the hype, and double your street cred with your homies) because that is all that is going to be built. You can expect your $35k promised Muskratmobile sometime before Hell Freezes over and the Election of Herpes Rodham Clinton to the office of President of the United States.
As the desperation at Muskrat Central becomes even more delicious, layoffs of those who designed the products are now being offered to cut overhead.
But what takes the cake is the creation of the tent assembly line where the wonderful model 3's are being built sans 300 of the original welds that were deemed necessary to keep the wheels from falling off the bait and switch four door sedan.
Rest assured, according to Muskrat himself, that these 300 welds won't be missed and this has enabled him to meet the promise his big trap ran when he said he'd build x number of Model 3's. The problem is that this ramp up of production has taken so long that the cash burned to keep the lights on at Muskrat Central is almost all gone.
And now the latest trick that Muskrat has turned to get more money (well, the best he can do with a four inch erection) is to tell suppliers that he wants some of the money back that he paid them for fair market rate parts and materials! That's right friends, he is asking his suppliers to give him some cash back for products they served in good faith and according to existing contracts!
But dare a Muskrat Model 3 buyer ask for $10k back for the Muskratmobile they just bought!
(sound of me falling out of my chair laughing in hysterics, pounding the floor, and dancing like Snoopy)
Apparently Muskrat thinks that everyone should bow to his rants and twits - dare he actually stop digging tunnels and launching condoms into space with a former Lotus turned into electric car inside.
How long will Muskrat be able to survive?
Just remember this pathetic joint has stock valued in the hundreds of dollars. Companies who have been building cars for 100 years or more are worth far less than this! Pundits are fools. And this stock is overvalued at the price of a Big Mac.
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