Dateline: Muttsville, Florida
Publicly the Democrats are crowing over their House control that they achieved through the 2018 election.
Privately, however, it is another story with fright and contempt as "those stupid voters didn't vote for us" is muttered from Senate offices.
"There is a cosmetic value to winning the House. But we needed the actual power of the Senate to prevent Trump from padding the courts. And with the recent news that Ruth Buzzie Ginsberg broke three ribs in her 80 plus year old corpse, Democrats are contemplating what they'll have to do in order to prevent Trump appointing Adolf Hitler to the Supreme Court," noted an undisclosed Democrat operative. "Trump will put the Klan on the Supreme Court if he can and he'll have them in full white robes."
So it goes that Florida, the problem child of voting efficacy, reports one thing on election night and ignores its own law of having votes counted by 40 hours after the election.
Broward county is at the heart of this election fraud (something that the elections chairperson is practiced in the fine art of dishonesty in elections) and apparently votes have been found in cookie jars, freezers, in a teacher's closet. But none of this matters in comparison to what a transgendered poodle discovered in a storage locker that he/she/it happened to nose around.
According to Florida Democrats, there could be upwards of 10 million uncounted Democrat votes in this storage locker and this could make all votes in the election shift to Democrat victories across the state.
Stay tuned as we suspect that Fifi LaRue, the poodle of note, won't be the last animal to find Democrat votes hidden for use (break the glass).
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