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For nearly a year, Hunter Biden was no where to be found.    Attempts were made to take temperature readings on the seat surface of his $50k per month board seats and the surfaces were room temperature.

Just like his Dad's political aspirations.

Hunter Biden has led an accomplished life for someone booted out of the Navy with a drug resume so vast and significant that he now cannot hold his eyes open during an interview and whose eyes are so bloodshot that you'd swear he'd used hot sauce as eye drops.

Here is a part of the ABC News interview that Hunter managed to take part in but was not released by ABC until we stole the clippings off the floor and prepared them just for you, our audience.

ABC News Chick:   "Is it true that you have suffered from having a micro penis and you were taunted by school mates?"

Hunter:  "Being the son of Joe  Biden is not always pleasant.   We once compared ourselves and I can now understand why he was always with long hair in the back of his head because of shortcomings elsewhere."

ABC News Chick:  "Did this experience lead you to needing to get a high paying job with your father's help?"

Hunter:  "I can assure you that my Dad can't help himself much less help me."

ABC News Chick:   "Your brother, Beau, assumed room temperature just like the Board Seats you supposedly were sitting in.   And then you dated his widow.   What's with that?"

Hunter:  "I never had sexual relations with that woman, Mrs Biden.  But she didn't turn down being eaten out either."

ABC News Chick:  "Do you think you would have been hired by Hardee's/Carl's Jr. if you weren't named "Biden"?"

Hunter:  "Well, I tried to sprinkle coke on the fries during an interview and I was told to leave.   They didn't even give me the rest of my coke back."

ABC News Chick:  "What would you like to tell the American people?"

Hunter:  "I'm a private citizen.  Go fuck yourselves on how much I make."