I have two packages now being held hostage by a company that is supposed to deliver packages as their main company focus.
Well, Fedex, deliver this. You are on UV's Shit List. And sadly, you've been on the SL for several years after several other actions of delivering a package to someone else and denying you did; and you have messed up other package deliveries.
But now you have the nerve to hide behind a virus as a reason why a package that was due for delivery on Saturday was then moved to Sunday and then to Monday and now to today without apparently ever leaving the local "out for delivery truck".
Honey child, Virginia may have been closed to many things by Governuh Nawthun, aka the black-faced doctor, but your city that is adjacent to my city has freely accessible roads and even into residential areas. You also understand you can't catch a virus taking said package that was loaded onto your truck out for delivery (unless you are snorting my package or licking it). And for the package to then be on a truck out for delivery on two, three, and now four days is professional malfeasance.
What part of "Scheduled delivery: x day by end of day" can't you figure out?
And you've done this for FOUR days?
Pardon me if I'm just a bit too much of a bitch to understand how you can bother to have a package on a truck for four consecutive days and not even accidentally fuck it up and deliver my fourth delayed package ahead of someone who has their trapped on your truck for three days or even two days.
I don't understand.
You see in my world, when you have packages on a truck, you should be able to prioritize the ones you fucked up and failed to deliver the first day. Customer service would seem to beg of you a distinct obligation to make a second day delivery of a first day package as something you'd give some concern about. And if you happened to see that you somehow fucked up badly enough to have a package make a third trip for its first day delivery that you'd give even more of a fucking professional attempt at delivering. But four days?
I know you are all pieces of shit. I remember that time you said you attempted to deliver a package to my door yet didn't bother to ring the loud ass doorbell I have or to even knock on the door with enough noise to startle my overly sensitive pussy. But no. You put a sticker on my door and had me choose to try the next day (when I'd be at work) or to go pick up the fucking package from your center of confusion and then to act like you were doing me a favor?
Oh, fuck you.
I know the postal service is often joked about on their level of service, but my mailman (he's a man, not just a person) can find my door bell and can ring it so I can have my package. Why can you not do the same Fedex?
Now I have a second package enroute to Casa UV and the same games are being played - that package is indicated as on the truck - that means it isn't in a bin somewhere in your fucked up center - it means that it is moving.
Why can't you do what Amazon Prime does - I can follow where YOU ARE and get a friggin clue as to how close you are to my house? It is a simple app. Amazon is a seller of products first, but does deliver secondarily and you can't be as good as them?
And I can assure you Amazon has NEVER fucked me over on delivery times. Even if there is flu in the air and they say that deliveries are going to be three days instead of one or two, the package is delivered on the third day like they promise.
What is wrong with you?
I also don't have problems with the company in brown. Now even if my delivery man isn't the cutest or has the best set of legs, he manages to get me my fucking package on the day I am told it would be there.
Now I have an additional problem with you - if the company that sold me the package that was to be delivered on Saturday paid for Saturday delivery, I think you owe them some money. It costs extra for a Saturday delivery. When I finally get this package, I'm raising hell. I will do so when I've reached the peak of my UV-ness - when I find that it took seven days on your fucking truck to get the package I should have had delivered on the first day it was on your fucking truck. Then I will be out for blood. Someone's ass will be mine.
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