Dateline: Washington, D.C.
Race extortionists have long wanted to remove the Washington Redskins from the face of the NFL - a league filled with three times as many black young men as their overall population percentage. Racism is a one way street and having a first squatter on the helmet of a losing football franchise just won't do.
Daniel "Little Napoleon" Snyder, owner of the Washington football team, has been faced with racial extortion that has now reached ridiculous levels. Fed Ex, the delivery company that sometimes gets your package to your door on time but almost never does, has announced that they are commanding Napoleon to change the name of the franchise.
In order to promote a fact-based football representative of the Washington franchise, Napoleon Snyder has announced a terrifying visage change for the franchise - a face that can sink a thousand ships in a minute and whose vagina quick chills beers at tailgating parties. And with Washington quickly being overrun with ugly, fat, and stupid women in Congress and the Senate, what better icon to have for a sports franchise than one that represents its own ethics and pathetic winning record!
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