Ultraviolet Thunderpussy's View: Commentary, Vintage Male Photos, Videos.

Ask anyone who knows me and you will find that I almost universally don't like movies about musical performers.    It took the prodding from my best friend, Tim from Canada, to get me to even watch "Rocket Man" that was about Elton John.   And I love Elton John's music. So when my organization had a staff outting today for a lunch (a very average psuedo-Mexican restaurant) and then to go see "Elvis", I found myself talking my way into watching the movie.   First, I had heard it wasn't that good and that enduring over two hours of a movie about a performer that I universally loathe would be a sadistic infliction of pain upon Miss UV. After all, there are only 15 minutes in my tolerance for things I know I'm not going to like and an act of God usually needs to interfere for me to overcome my desire to vomit after those first 15 minutes are up. Hell, I gave trying vagina 15 minutes and I didn't heeve my guts out - and I did that three times with the same female (she offered).   I figured I could give Elvis at least that much of a chance even as I braced for his massive aging transformation from svelte hip-swinger to near Titanic-classed fat ass druggie. Pardon me for going into this movie with little preparation as to who was in the movie.   I briefly noticed that Tom Hanks was going to be in the movie but had no idea what role he'd be playing - I had not even seen the image of him that I used in the graphic for this review.    I had no idea who the fuck Austin Butler who played Elvis was.   He could have been what they used to call a bag boy at a Kroger for all I knew going into this movie. Prior to going to this movie, I had seen titles for some unflattering reviews for this musical life distortion effort and that reinforced my belief that I was not going to like this movie - and - I was going to loathe myself in "Grinch-like" fashion for the rest of the two plus hours that I was going to have to endure after that. Cue the use of Gomer Pyle's "Surprise!   Surprise!   Surprise!" as the first 15 minutes passed by and I wasn't ready to shoot someone (bad taste thinking that in a movie theater?). Before I go further, I really really really liked Elton John's musical movie, but I was not blown away by the singing performanee of the star.   No one can replace Elton, but the lad did a fine enough job that I didn't hate him for his efforts. And here is the rub with this movie - I don't even like Elvis's singing.     There is only so much "hubba hubba hubba" I can endure before I want to tap the oil used in his hair and to start selling it for the now going rate of $5 per gallon here in the States.    I don't even like his take on Christmas music and now that I have images of bad Christmas sweaters burned into my mind from this movie, I'm never gonna listen to an Elvis Christmas song again. It was thus Miss UV was sitting in the reserved theater for our organization amongst my cohorts who were of similar age range (not spring chickens).    I had some popcorn and a bottle of water and I settled into the most comfy of theatre seats ever known to man (well, it has been nearly 20 years since I had been in a theater!).    The movie opens with images of Christmas and Snowmen and post cards and an early misdirection that had Miss UV clutching her pearls and gasping that Lucy had pulled the football out from before me and I'd been had in a mixed metaphor lulla-pa-looza.   But I sat in that seat knowing that I'm a strong and brave Miss UV and it would be just un-Southern for me to bail on a movie after 1 minute. Thankfully the movie started to provide its path to the story and I soon released the pearls and started eating popcorn (after removing my long white gloves of course).    You see, I do love me some Motown like black music and have been known to dance in an "American Bandstand" of one to a few "negro" songs as I blow the doors off the notion that I can't appreciate "the coloreds".     I use this language because that is how the movie went and I am desperately trying to stay in character and to do the movie justice. Early on the movie makes Colonel Tom Parker (CTP), Elvis' Manager (and grand theft of performer earnings criminal), the target of scorn.    I know enough in my contempt of Elvis' voice to know that Colonel Parker is a vile dude to rank up there with the Biden Crime Family Syndicate so I was enjoying the movie going after him in a very open session of buckshot on the ass and the portrayal of CTP never let up.    And it was thus that I at least found something to hate more than the movie and I was all prepared for the rest of the show. Tom Hanks plays CTP - at first I didn't even notice - and then in a naiveness that made me seem like a woman from Grover's Corners ("Bird Cage" reference) - I finally squinted enough to see Tom Hanks with the extra movie padding that just made my day.  I almost called myself "Edna" but I had to keep in my Southern Belle persona, so I just golf whispered to myself in glee. Once the movie moved on from the track of making CTP a bonafide villian, up next came the character that would play Elvis.    And while I had no interest whatsovever in the character that played Elton John, my lust meter for the chap that played Elvis was going off so hard that I thought I was going to Fred Sanford a double clutch moment and drop dead right there in the theater from a heart attack.    I didn't.   I didn't even do it for Elizabeth.    But I tried. Austin Butler is not necessarily the type of man I would chase screaming "A man!" like in a vintage cartoon, but honey child, he was a young, virile man with a brooding look that had me begging to be taken away by him.   There was something about this guy that just made me like his performance and it was thus I wanted more and more.    It wasn't that his perforamnce was compelling as it wasn't, but he had me on the brooding eyes and the movie's direction by giving black artists an appreciation for their contributions to music was wonderful.   In short, here was a cute white man who was giving black folk (they were called negroes) love.  The movie quickly handled Elvis the Pelvis as back in the 1950's apparently no one still had sex without being under 15 blankets and only hooking up the body parts with their eyes closed.    Much was made of Elvis' hip swinging and Austin was more than up for a little bit of naughty hip action.   He even did swing a pinkie (watch the movie to know what that was about). At this point I'm into this movie.   I wanted Austin so much that I forgot he was playing Elvis.    I suspended my disbelief and then some. The rest of the movie meanders through his career and how CTP double-dealt Elvis and used him for his personal bank to fund his huge gambling problem.    Tom Hanks did a skilled job at being swarmy enough to make you hate him.   Point made. Unfortunately for this movie, I had seen a documentary on Elvis about Elvis' final years and this movie did not do justice to the drug abuse that Elvis underwent during his final years.    I was shocked at how the movie gave so little coverage - it was there - but not nearly as much coverage as Elvis truly endured as he was using drugs to recover from one prescription to get him to sleep only to take another to get him to perform and the cocktail in between. Overall, this was not a half bad movie.    I don't regret spending two plus hours of my life seeing it and overall it was better than I expected and that is a good thing.    I just wish the Biden administration was better than I expected.   And nothing has ever had lower expectations and they've set new lows of putridity with each passing month.    Pretty soon Biden will be less popular than VD.