| THE FINALS - THE
FROSTED MAGGOT CAKE
This is such a padded waste of
time - total meatloaf edition with all filler and no
meat. This is a two-part shamfest with the first
episode being a virtual rerun of the garbabe to date on this
worthless season. It took me less than five minutes
to fast forward and to bypass the entire episode stopping to see
if there was anything new. New
studio. Gag!
Now the final torture
performance among three of the worst American Idol contestants
to make it.
This episode started with a
lot of crap music noise. Fast forwarded through that
shit.
Up now are Colin the fake
Cowboy, Megan the Whore (with a hemline at her who who point),
and the Morbidly Obese Boulder from Hawaii.
Up first is Megan the Whore -
a very inconsistent performer who still has no identity as a
signer - one week she's Bonnie Raitt and then switches to
something else and back to Bonnie. Now she's back to
Bonnie which means she has nothing to offer.
She cannot sing. Making noise is all she can
do. Tries to be a stereotypical country cunt and
hits the whore look perfectly.
Next up is the Morbidly Obese
Boulder, Iam. He is going to try to sing a Keith
Urban song. What a
bastardization. That is not
signing. That is simply repeating the words against
music. I know this song. That is
horrific presentation. Still hasn't
moved. Looks like he hasn't had a bowel movement in
the last ten years either.
Colin the Fake Cowboy now
mutilates another song with a voice that just isn't
there. It is like he does not know how to
project his voice. I also know this song and it is
not good.
Megan the Whore continues to
pull out Bonnie Raitt and dresses even more like a bar
whore. Not a good sound. This is
the worst final ever in any singing
competition. She is
screeching. Ghastly. It is truly
painfully.
Morbidly Obese Iam is here -
he hauled ass in a flat bed and an airforce cargo plane - same
tired sound and same tired persona - awful - not an American
idol of any kind. Complete and utter horror on
stage. Never moves. I don't think he
waddles to the microphone - I think he is hauled out by a fork
lift.
Colin the Fake Cowboy brings
up the rear. The start of this song was one of
the worst ever singing performances ever on tv. Out of
tune. Could not hit a note. Has no punch
to his voice. He has to yell to elevate his volume
and that is a bad thing for him.
None of these finalists
deserves to win - this was a complete trainwreck.
The winner will sell five downloads. Period.
And the misery continues as
the thrown away shit contestants got another chance with a
duo. This is cruel and unusual
torture. How bad was it?
Zachariah was better than the real artist who is well past his
use by date (voice).
Now taking out some shit - the
person dumped is - Colin the Fake Cowboy - the Morbidly Obese
Boulder and the Bar Whore will be singing to win.
And we all lose.
I have not watched any results
so I don't now even now a month after who won - this shows how
awful the winner will be - I predict it will be the Morbidly
Obese Boulder, Iam. I have seen the outrageous
praise videos for him and no one is ever basing it on how great
a singer he is. You could see this level of talent
at a Hawaiin Motel Six continental breakfast act in the parking
lot. Worthless.
Who fhe fuck is the fat clown,
Jellyroll? Move on.
Retreading the Witch Whose
Name Who Will Never Be Mentioned. She is
horrific - she is like one of those psycho Eastern European
brides who would poison her American husband to steal his money.
Um, American Idol, this show
is supposed to be about your talent - why are you avoiding
"the best season ever" behind other third rate
acts? Even Keith Urban hasn't had a great hit
in the last three years. He is not what he used to
be.
Now Morbidly Obese Iam is
teamed up with someone - watching Iam open his pie hole is like
watching Jaba the Hut as he sits there.
Gross. Both performers were awful - I don't know who
the fuck the dude was who made noise with Iam, but he was awful
too.
When will the torture
end? More off key performances by third rate
people. I feel for the two pieces of shit left
over competing - this must be designed to make them sound better
in comparison. We have reached two hours of this
Titanic episode and we've reached to ocean floor with my
tolerance.
Megan the Whore is singing
with someone who can't sing. She sounds better.
Now Luke Bryan sings and it is
a trainwreck. He also hasn't had a good sounding
song in several years.
And now the last words, er,
the final single performance, from Megan. Now
permanently adopting the Bonnie Raitt sound and likely doing
enough to win this since she moves and the Morbid Iam
can't. She saved her best for last - but she's
been known to have one performance amongst a string of
garbage. Her last stopped clock
moment. And yes she dressed like a whore.
Morbid Iam is awful - that
facial look as he struggles to open his pie
hole. He still hasn't moved.
Absolutely gross looking and sounds as miserable. I think
Megan did a better job - Iam likely will die in less than five
years from his enormous obesity. He's not just fat.
He is health threateningly obese.
This was rigged - Megan sang
better - I called it that the fat ass Iam was going to win
because this was all a snow job.
Outrageous! Simply outrageous!
Below is a 12 year old kid
that sings better than the fat bastard from American Idol.
|
No comments:
Post a Comment