| I have written
several times about my contempt for tailgating assholes even
when I travel in the slow lane (right) and do the speed limit.
Today I got a chance to make a
tailgater pay for his lack of his spacial awareness on the road.
Meet Terrance Toyoduhfuck.
He was driving a Toyoduh Foreskin like the one above (even the
color). Terrance decided that he wanted to
pass traffic in the right lane (the slow one) and was speeding
up behind me. I suspect he felt that driving
so that his headlights weren't visible in the rear view mirror
would compel me to adjust my speed above that of the posted
speed limit. When several seconds of NASCAR drafting
didn't work to intimidate me, he pulled to the left most of the
right lane to make sure his headlights were in my side view
mirror as he raged that I dare impede the travel of a Toyoduh
Fuck (the name I have given to assholes who drive Toyoduhs -
they and Honduh Fucks are the most entitled and selfish clowns
on the road).
For over 10 miles on my trip
home Terrance Toyoduh Fuck hugged my ass like he wanted to make
a baby with me. Thankfully I am near virginal
and I'm no easy bang and run. He rode my ass like we
were at a rodeo, but the clown was he.
Note that I was on a three
lane interstate road that was not all that busy so traffic could
pass on the open two left lanes.
But Terrance Toyoduh Fuck had
a point to make and he wanted me to know he drove a Toyoduh.
What he did not comprehend is that I am Miss UV. I
am not fucked with. I was on my way home where i
could go out on the Veranda and I could watch the sunset while
sipping my mint julip while watching the hired mens come in from
the field all hot and sweaty needing to use the
shower. But i digress.
After 10 miles or so, traffic
in the slow lane was backing up with merging traffic from the
right which I allowed to merge before me, but there was brake
lights also engaging as I watch way ahead to know what is going
on. Approximately five vehicles - several
trucks - were ahead of me and were signalling to pass slower
traffic. I watched as one by one these vehicles
passed the vehicle in front of them until I discovered the
source of the slowdown. A pickup with a
trailer going far less than the speed limit.
Because I don't tailgate, I was able to determine after
consulting my sideview mirror that I could also pass the slow
truck but timed my move so that Terrance Toyoduh Fuck would not
be able to follow me in the pass.
The glee I felt as Terrance
was stuck behind a very slow moving truck and had no hope of
following me was delightful - it was fabulous. I had
timed my NASCAR pass so brilliantly that about half a dozen
vehicles were moving into the center lane as well blocking
Terrance Toyoduh Fuck behind the slow truck and I was able to
ditch him at my normal exit.
I karma-fucked a Toyoduh Fuck. |
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