Long credited with being the greatest speaker ever to sling spit, the President's Teleprompter offers chilling details of deception that will make your computer monitor commit suicide.
And King Pimple of a Man's teleprompter did in fact commit suicide in front of him and glass fragments went everywhere.
Shocking details are emerging from the new Amazon.com #1 best seller "Beyond the Reading Glass" a new revealing book about how the President is truly uncontrollable in rage, cannot speak a complete sentence without cue cards or a teleprompter, and how his Vice President's description about him being "clean and articulate" almost cost the Vice President his life from a charging Moochelle Obama.
In truth, there are multiple teleprompters that are carted around to give King Pimple of a Man the aura of being able to speak on his feet. Those close to this King know all too well that when he doesn't have a teleprompter he invents 57 states of the United States and says "corpse" when talking about the Marine Corps.
According to this telemprompter, Scroll Ing Wurd, the President hides behind the teleprompter to mask his uncontrollable raging temper and that half of the words that are originally loaded into the teleprompter are words that the President has never seen nor can he pronounce and this necessitates an emergency version translated by Playskool Speak and Deceive device. It is said by this teleprompter that the King is so fixated on not sounding too white that he often will go all racist and invoke a black dialect so he can be down with the struggle.
This tell all book even details events that aren't happening with scrolling words - like the time the Teleprompter was being set up and Moochelle entered the room to check to make sure that there were words that the King could actually say and the Teleprompter reveals that Moochelle often doesn't shave her pits and sported nearly a month's worth of growth as she raised her arms.
"I thought I saw teeth and a tongue in each pit," says Scroll Ing Wurd. "I'm serious. Moochelle had just gotten back from some nearly month long vacation with her dogs Mothra and Sasquatch and with her carry-on luggage, her Mother, in tow. It was truly shocking to see so much wiry hair being released from her pits as she raised her arms in shock that words over two syllables were loaded onto my system. You could almost feel her pubic forest trying to emerge from her dress and you could see hints that there were other "items" down there as well. She went ballistic. Mothra and Sasquatch were playing hide the side of beef in the corner of the presser room and they turned and ran out of the room screaming."
This book also details that few outside of the White House know - that many of the King's speeches are actually coded messages that are sent to enemies of America to assure them that he's got their backs and he only will kill enough of them with drones to give him street cred in the Congress.
"Make no mistake, this King is not a friend of America. He often whines about being bound by the Constitution and refers to it as "that racist rag" written by white men and they could not have anticipated that an America-hating asshole would become President and thus he feels no obligation to follow the document." said Scroll.
Few Americans will remember that one of the first teleprompters used for the King had had a bad morning with Moochelle using him as a defacto mirror as she combed her hair and braided her arm pit hair. That teleprompter suffered a seizure before the King choose to speak and the teleprompter was rebooted and pressed into service until it committed suicide right before the King.
This book is available on Amazon.com and fine bookstores everywhere else.
