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Wednesday, February 13, 2013

They fight the war from computer consoles and video screens and keep matters well in hand as they use their joysticks to guide their impending launch of their deadly load.

But the troops that launch the drone strikes and direct the cyberattacks that can kill or disable an enemy may never set foot in the combat zone. Now their battlefield contributions may be recognized with the latest Pentagon medal of honor - "Drone Pilot Medal of Honor"

Outgoing Defense Secretary Leon Peenetta has disclosed that joystick jockeys are a valuable part of today's military and their performance with their joysticks is in need of recognition.   "We've had an explosion of terrorists who have had loads dropped upon them neutralizing their effectiveness thanks to joystick jockeys thousands of miles away,"  noted Peenetta.    "There are guys who cannot handle their joystick and drop a load six inches from initial launch - we've got guys who can hit a target thousands of miles away and do it with pinpoint accuracy.   I've seen one guy shoot a load down a chimney from Texas and the target was in Afghanistan.   This guy is gifted.   Usually you don't get a second shot at these targets so each launch becomes an exercise in dropping a load without detection."

Due to the sensitive nature of the jobs that these men perform and because it takes a man to guide a load over these vast miles, women are not eligible for the award no matter how much man that they think they are.

"Operation "Gold Member" has become a thing of pride for our troops and these troops practice vigorously to prepare them for their jobs," noted Peenetta.   "You won't find a greater bunch of guys who rub one out for their country as they risk significant injury for the red, white, and blue.   If you saw how tightly these guys grip their joysticks and with tongues wagging and the drool dripping from their lips, you'd know these guys get off dropping their precious payloads right in the middle of terrorist camps as the unsuspecting terrorists role play bad guys in training.    Our guys can see almost everything in those camps and when the time is right, the load is released  and the targets find themselves covered and there is no hope of escape."

The Defense Department is drafting the standards to receive this award and it is anticipated that President Barack Obama will hand out several of these awards very soon.

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