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This is Genuine, Authentic News Presented for Your Horror (From Ibtimes.com)  The inability of women in rural Egypt to clean their breasts is causing a diarrhoea epidemic, according to the country's Prime Minister Hisham Qandil (pictured above looking all dapper albeit with a scruffy beard). Qandil was speaking about the spate of recent epidemics in Egypt's rural communities. During the address, he said he had witnessed children suffering from diarrhoea immediately after they have been breastfed because their mothers were unable to clean themselves probably.    Nothing sucks like a dirty breast. Apparently Qandil is quite the rural breast observer and pays particular attention to exposed breasts during his tours of the countryside.  Undisclosed sources indicate that Qandil uses the same tour guide as Democrat Senator Bob Menendez and Qandil also values younger and less experienced breasts. He added that many women in rural Egypt don't even bother to clean their breasts at all before feeding their toddlers.   Apparently women in urban areas pay more attention to breast hygiene.   A recent Hustler survey in Egypt found that 9 out of 10 dentists surveyed that urban women's breasts are indeed cleaner (this information is shockingly obtained while the women are under anesthesia and metal objects are dropped down their blouses). Qandil made his remarks during an address at a cabinet meeting. Women members present were noticeably uncomfortable as Qandil made the comments and those who dared make a noise were taken outside and summarily stoned. Apparently the United Nations has taken interest over the epidemic of unclean breasts in Eqypt and will be sending over breast observers to ensure that proper washing of the breasts is conducted.    This health crisis is so severe that a group of female doctors from San Francisco has volunteered to help uplift the breasts for proper washing.    There seems to be some confusion why there aren't men also getting sick from these unclean breasts as in most countries men also find the need to suckle on breasts particularly during romantic encounters.   This reporter posed a question to the director of Eqyptian Breast Studies at Cairo University and was told, "Our men do not put breasts in their mouths as we only breed with the women.    Ask any man here and he'll tell you what he does put in his mouth, but I can assure you that there is no breasts in our Eqyptian mouths!" In other news, Iran is not experiencing any epidemic of unclean breasts.   They remove them before the women reach 18.   This is like Iran has no gay people - when found they just hang them out to dry.