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Dateline:
Little Dick, North Korea
With
the world on seemingly on the brink of nuclear war and with Las
Vegas book makers now giving out the odds of such happening,
word has come out that the little fat punk North Korean leader
could be merely acting out a Hollywood drama.
According
to unnamed North Korean sources who promised to provide details
in exchange for a bag of stale, broken, and near crumb like
Animal Crackers, the North Korean dictator is now pulling off a
scene from the series "The Borgias" where Kim Jung Un
has ordered hundreds of ceramic missiles to be fabricated and
painted to look like the real things so that he can scare the
bejeezuz out of the international lightweight, Barack Hussein
Obama.
"There
is no way you'll be able to tell the fake missile from the real
one from a distance. Kim Jung Un has really
pushed his skeletons hard to do a fine job on the
graphics. And to provide incentive to do a
good job, Kim has ordered anyone who is caught slacking off will
be pushed inside the fake missile and then sealed up for
eternity." noted the North Korean traitor.
During
this week, photographs showing the North Korean dictator at his
command desk with an Apple computer were also debunked.
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"That Apple
computer is a cheap Chinese knockoff - it is really a Pentium II
computer with windows 95 running. Kim likes to play
dig dug on it and often spends several hours in his big boy
chair swinging his legs back and forth while his skeleton generals
look on not quite sure what to do or say without getting hauled
off to a country road to be shot in the head," continued the
bread crumb-bribed traitor.
Hot off the recent
visit of Dennis Rodman, North Korean Dictator Kim Jung Un was seen
dancing through his residence laughing and yelling "I got to
see Rodman Pee Pee and its Huge!"
Other North Korean
Factoids
North Korean GDP in
2012 was $5.99, down a quarter from 2011.
The average North
Korean eats 2900 calories per year from approved rations and
supplements their diet with cockroach farms.
North Korean
prostitutes pay men to give them head so they can get the extra
protein for their diets.
Kim Jung Un's penis
is 2.25 inches long and is unable to maintain an
erection. He does have a fluffer who rubs Un the wong
way and makes him cum.
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