UV News Service Special Report

Deal breaker discovered that was where to park the shit and piss limo that protects Kim Unhung's byproducts so that no one knows what his health condition.   Stumbling block has been resolved and toilet limo can be parked in a garage out back of the Sinapore meeting place.   

And now onto the real details of this mysterious meeting that has Special Inquisitor Bob Mueller intrigued into possible collusion between Trump, the South Koreans, the North Koreans, and the Chinese.

Apparently Kim Unhung is big on French cooking - or at least eating properly prepared Poodles.   He is picky on the size of the woof woof as he doesn't do toys and those massive ones that look like a Japanese Monster character are just too big for Kim's tiny mouth.   He demanded live Poodles to be on standby so they can be killed and eaten within an hour.

Kim is also quite fond of the vintage nudes in Playboys but he really wants to see the pink folds that are rarer than a Hillary truth being told.   Playboy was not fond of showing the pink folds as it wasn't as tasteful as just having the blob of female flesh posed so the robust tittage could sag like a water balloon.    Nonetheless Kim wanted some for his entertainment.

Interestingly, the surprise request by Kim was doing a Kardashian and he wanted to take a crack at Chlamydia's new tunnel.    Kim figured it was so new that it would be tight around his little unhung and that made his moist.

If war is inevitable, let the free world not start it.

For the last ten or so years, our leaders have failed us.   They enabled the rogue nation of North Korea to go without punishment in their pursuit of nuclear weapons.    In fact, a prior eight year regime here did so much to enable North Korea, that it should have just given North Korea the bomb and saved them the time and money in making America the target of hate that is the same goal of the Democrat National Committee here in the States.

At this point, it is really a moot one to think that we can flatten North Korea to save a global war from breaking out.

Seriously.

We cannot launch a first strike and hope to keep the world from going into a third world war where Iran will most certainly go after Israel, China will go after Taiwan, and Russia will seek to claim the territory it lost with the break up of the Soviet Union.

Mark my word, these nations of the evil axis, Iran, China, and Russia are poised to do just as I mention - not only have they stated this publicly, but they have made such actions part of their national security policies.

Our only policy direction is to sit and wait.    And we must now accept that ONE UNITED STATES CITY has been donated to North Korea should it decide to use nuclear weapons.

I say this because we cannot be the instigator of a global war.    But we must be prepared to totally eliminate the international infections from the face of the earth should North Korea decide to take out one of our cities.    Not only should North Korea be reduced to ashes and glass by a myriad of nuclear missiles launched in retaliation for their first strike, but we should be prepared to turn Iran into glass, and then to Russia and China and to serve them notice against expanding their reach as a consequence of a North Korean first strike.

If we are attacked, then all bets are off.   We should deliver such a stifling and horrific response as to make the other Super Powers to think twice about any retaliation against us. 

If we fail to respond with overwhelming and horrific force against a first strike by either North Korea or Iran, then we might as well all raise our asses and expect to be raped by the international thugs.    And while I have not mentioned the disgusting Mooslim religion and its minions, we can also expect those thugs to take advantage of our lax behavior.

We must not first strike against North Korea.

But we must make sure that North Korea gets no chance to breathe again should they dare take us on.   We must assume that the donation of one American city must be answered with a total elimination of every living and breathing thing in North Korea.   As horrible as this it, we must be in the mindset that the bed has been peed on by our failed previous administration and now we must make sure the bed is no longer wet..   We have to throw it out.

We must be firm in our diplomacy now - we should not provoke - but we must have rhetoric that does not reward North Korea for its actions.   We are dealing with a petulant child who must understand that there are consequences for his actions.   This clown gets one chance - join the international community or we just won't pay attention to you.   We won't throw a counter tantrum by demanding more sanctions; instead we should offer to make every North Korean citizen eligible to be on Obamacare (without subsidies, of course) and that we'll gladly take any North Korean citizen and house them in any United States city that is under Democrat control or has declared itself a sanctuary city for southern invaders; and we'll even pay all expenses to send them to Chicago so as to give the Ballerina Mayor a taste of his sanctuary citizen status.   In an ironic twist, we can destroy leftist cities by overwhelming them with the tired, the haggard, the sick, and the poor.   And we can let them live the uncontrolled notion of the Statue of Liberty's poem - and without any help from the American taxpayers.    Not one dime of federal money.  

I am at core a Libertarian; but I want our laws enforced, and the North Korean situation can also be used to punish Democrats for running their traps while demanding other people to spend money for their Progressive, America hating philosophy.   I think we can take North Korea and use it to so overwhelm Democrat cities that we'll destroy them before North Korea can and then we can simply come in and pick up the pieces and turn the cities into beacons of hope rather than the Democrat slavery that has persisted for far too many years.

God help us.

Exclusive UV News Report

Dateline:  Pee-on-you-yang, North Korea

Operation Wet Dream was intended to launch "Agent Orange" at America and to usher in the rule by men with two inch peens and bad haircuts.

On a day that was declared the "Day of the Sun" celebration of the malformed evil Hobbit Kim Numba Two's 105th birthday, North Korea was expected to be able to have something large and phallic like to launch to show that they are a serious player against the rule of the evil Orange Haired America-first President.

Just hours ago, the intercontinental ballistic missile was test fired and ultimately went limp and exploded in a devastating failure.

UV News Service has confirmed that the evil Kim Jung Un Hung was so furious with this failure that he had his entire missile development team loaded into a submarine and had it blown up to spite his own face.    There are serious issues with this report of the death of the scientists because it is quite possible the submarine blew up because it was also a piece of shit engineered by half wits and spiteful communists who were too lazy to double check that all the wires were hooked up correctly.

UV News Service can confirm that all aboard are dead, dead, dead, and the evil North Korea midget dick stormed off to his room to use a pair of tweezers to masturbate to American porn.    We can confirm with certainty that his missile did not launch and the whole day was ruined and ended in total limpitude.

The North Korean ICBM was named "Agent Orange" after Kim Jung Un Hung was infuriated by President Trump's insistence to stand up to the North Korean midget and to dare call him names.    Kim Jung Un Hung made it a keystone of his next five years to launch something long and hard at Donald Trump and today's disaster could cause a long line of executions using the Ice Piss book on executions "1001 Ways to Kill Your Enemy".    Kim Jung Un Hung has previously been very creative with dealing with his enemy and it is entirely possible that someone could be put to death listening to former American dictator King Pimple of a Man's entire speech library or by forcing the condemned to stare at Moochelle's hairy twat until dead.

Over a million North Koreans were required to gather in their finest and brightest outfits in the celebration of the 105th birthday of their former despot and there were smiles all around as every attendee looked like Democrat Nancy Pelosi, the twig with tits, as her face froze in an evil grin after telling America that in order to find out what was in Obamascare that they'd have to vote for it first.

UV News Service can confirm that no one attending this celebrationhad a face in any less in bliss than an orgasm.   The women were so happy and gleeful that they pissed themselves and men were as gleeful as a 12 year old with a Playboy.    There were smiles all around.   It was as if the entire country was mesmerized over Kim Jung Un Hung like snowflakes in America were for Hillary Rodhambone Clinton's promise of being the next President.

The North Korean official news service, CNN, went to blissful images of fields of flowers and an eeriely similar clip of Laura Ingles Wilder as she ran down the hill to meet her Pa during the opening scene of "Little House on the Praire".     There was no mention of the missile misfire and the whole affair had been cloaked with the pre-sell of a big bang so no one was the wiser that there really was a big bang and it wasn't just another work of Obama's PR team about his Presidency.

UV News Service can confirm that the Congressional Black Caucus and other ethnic supremacy groups on the left will call for Donald Trump's impeachment because of this missile failure.

Now a rising star within the Democrat party, former living person and new official zombie, Congressputz Maxine "Stonepuss" Waters, another leftist woman with the face of a camel, has launched into her speel about wanting Trump impeached and that the North Korean situation is proof that Trump is colluding with intelligent people to make a mockery of our enemies and making America look good.    UV News Service cannot confirm if Maxine Waters has a pulse or any living tissue remaining, but we can confirm she's an evil bitch that needs to be silenced by driving a stake through her forehead and covering her in holy water.

Obama Threatens Tough Actions
Against North Koreans

Top Ten Obama Options

The following list are likely actions this President will employ against the North Koreans...

1. Label the North Koreans as offshore wing of the tea party and deny he'll uses the IRS to investigate and to harass them;
2. Draw a line in the sand and then deny he did and blame it on the do nothing Congress;
3. Go golfing.    Every foreign policy crisis is solved by playing golf.
4. Go on vacation.    When all else fails, leave without Moochelle and the brood and go to Hawaii.   Eventually the baggage will arrive and it will be time to go campaigning and to play more golf.
5. Place North Korea on double secret probation and then secretly meet with representatives of North Korea in Canada and some other nation and normalize relations and replace the bust of Winston Churchill he threw away when inaugurated with a bust of Kim Jung Unhung.
6. Agree to send Rand Paul to vacation at one of the lavish North Korean Gulags that don't exist.
7. If Kim Jung Unhung admits that he oversaw the hacking of Sony, then his country can join Obamacare.
8. Obama has secretly authorized drone flyovers of North Korea so that they can shoot down our latest hardware and can then use to build their own fleet of drones.
9. Threaten Kim Jung Unhung with an unauthorized Sony biographical movie of Kim Jung Unhung with the two bit pot bellied dicator played by Rush Limbaugh.
10. Threaten to  make Hillary Clinton the official ambassador to North Korea and to require her to sing to Kim Jung Un's picture when the moon is full like his face.

Just when you thought kim no so hung had assumed room temperature and had occupied another room in the dictator wing of the hotel hades, he appears as if he is a living and breathing threat to humanity with a smile that radiates several hundred future executions and round ups of political dissenters.    While I am not convinced this just isn't a cheap theft of Disney animatronic technology and put to use on a humanoid demon, the press is proud to proclaim he has returned!

So while it is "Thanksgiving Day" in Canada and "Hate Christopher Columbus Day" in the United States, it is a wonderful Ground Hog Day with the return of the fat motha focker from hell.

The sister of an American held captive in North Korea for more than a year said Wednesday she is outraged that Dennis Rodman, the former NBA star who has cozied up to North Korea’s young dictator, is “playing games with my brother’s life.” Rodman on Wednesday led a crowd at a North Korean auditorium in serenading the leader, Kim Jong Un, with “Happy Birthday” at an exhibition game between former NBA players and a North Korean team. A day earlier, in a bizarre, expletive-littered and sometimes incoherent interview with CNN, Rodman came close to suggesting that the American, Kenneth Bae, was responsible for his captivity. Advertise | AdChoices “My family and I are outraged,” Bae’s sister Terri Chung said in a statement. “He is playing games with my brother’s life. There is no diplomacy, only games, and at my brother’s expense.” She said that Rodman was in a position to advocate for Bae but instead “has decided to hurl outrageous accusations at my brother, insinuating that Kenneth has done something sinister.” Bae, 45, was leading a tour group in North Korea, the reclusive and repressive communist country, when he was detained. He was accused and convicted of trying to overthrow the government and was sentenced to 15 years of hard labor. His mother visited him in October and said that Bae was “alone and ailing.” Rodman told CNN on Tuesday that the visit to North Korea, his fourth, was a “great idea for the world” and might “open the door.” But he bristled when he was pressed on whether he would try to use the trip to help Bae. “If you understand what Kenneth Bae did?” Rodman angrily demanded of the interview, Chris Cuomo. “Do you understand what he did in this country? Why is he held captive in this country?” Following a basketball game in honor of North Korea's Kim Jong Un's birthday, Dennis Rodman tells reporters "I think this is a very historical day." White House press secretary Jay Carney, asked Tuesday about the Rodman interview, told reporters: “I’m not going to dignify that outburst with a response.” He emphasized that the trip was private travel, not endorsed by the U.S. government. Kim was not shown in the “Happy Birthday” video. Rodman sang, and a crowd of North Koreans was shown smiling and clapping. The North Korean and American players, standing behind Rodman, clapped along, too. Rodman bowed at the end. Kim is believed to be turning 31, but neither that nor when his birthday falls is certain. He took over after his father, Kim Jong Il, known as Dear Leader, died in 2011. In November, Kim’s own uncle, Jang Song Thaek, was executed after he was accused of trying to seize power and drive the North Korean economy into catastrophe. The former NBA star is in Pyongyang Monday to take part in an exhibition game to celebrate Kim Jong Un's 30th birthday. He said his goal is to create a relationship between the U.S. and North Korea. The North Korean team won the exhibition game against the former NBA players. Foreign tourists attended but were not allowed to take pictures. APTN, a video service of The Associated Press, said that it was not allowed to film Kim.

I had joked about novel North Korean executions. Little did I know they'd really do it! NBC NEWS -- North Korean leader Kim Jong Un's powerful uncle was stripped naked, thrown into a cage, and eaten alive by a pack of ravenous dogs, according to a newspaper with close ties to China's ruling Communist Party. The man who was believed to be in charge of training his young nephew to take over was executed as a traitor, indicating a shake-up in Kim Jong Un's regime. NBC's Andrea Mitchell reports. Jang Song Thaek, who had been considered Kim's second-in-command, was executed last month after being found guilty of "attempting to overthrow the state," North Korea’s state-run news agency reported. The official North Korean account on Dec. 12 did not specify how Jang was put to death. U.S. officials told NBC News on Friday that they could not confirm the reports. "This is not ringing any bells here," said one senior official.  Hong Kong-based pro-Beijing newspaper Wen Wei Po reported that Jang and his five closest aides were set upon by 120 hunting hounds which had been starved for five days.  Kim and his brother Kim Jong Chol supervised the one-hour ordeal along with 300 other officials, according to Wen Wei Po. The newspaper added that Jang and other aides were "completely eaten up." The newspaper has acted as a mouthpiece for China's Communist Party. The report may be a sign of the struggle between those in the party who want to remain engaged with North Korea and those who would like to distance themselves from Kim's regime. Slideshow: North Korea's young leader, Kim Jong Un The youngest son of Kim Jong Il succeeded his late father in 2011, becoming the third member of his family to rule the unpredictable and reclusive communist state. In the highly scripted execution, North Korea accused him of "attempting to overthrow the state by all sorts of intrigues and despicable methods with a wild ambition to grab the supreme power of our party and state." From Straits Times  - According to the report, unlike previous executions of political prisoners which were carried out by firing squads with machine guns, Jang was stripped naked and thrown into a cage, along with his five closest aides. Then 120 hounds, starved for three days, were allowed to prey on them until they were completely eaten up. This is called "quan jue", or execution by dogs. The report said the entire process lasted for an hour, with Mr Kim Jong Un, the supreme leader in North Korea, supervising it along with 300 senior officials. The horrifying report vividly depicted the brutality of the young North Korean leader. The fact that it appeared in a Beijing- controlled newspaper showed that China no longer cares about its relations with the Kim regime. Two days later, the Global Times, associated with the People's Daily, a Chinese Communist Party organ, followed up with a sternly worded editorial saying that the abrupt political change epitomised the backwardness of the North Korean political system. It warned the Chinese government not to coddle North Korea any longer, saying that the majority of Chinese were extremely disgusted with the Kim regime. The incendiary story, plus the stern editorial, provided a measure of the extent of Beijing's loathing, which is quite understandable. In purging a top official known for his close ties with Beijing in such a brutal manner, Pyongyang did not hide its antagonism towards China. The official litany of Jang's treason implicated China three times. Jang was accused of underselling coal and other natural resources for which China was virtually the sole customer. He was also charged with "selling off the land of Rason economic and trade zone to a foreign country for a period of five decades under the pretext of paying debts". Finally, he was accused of selling precious metals, thus disrupting the country's financial stability. In fact, China purchased some of North Korea's gold reserves several months ago. He was also accused of aiding Chinese businessmen in securing low prices for North Korean goods and commodities. The purge of Jang reflected the longstanding suspicion and apprehension of the North Korean regime towards China, which dates back to the time of Kim Il Sung, North Korea's founder.

Dateline:   Dogs Don't Go To Heaven, North Korea Less than a week ago, Kim Jong Un's Uncle, "Worse Than a Dog" was forcibly removed from a meeting by several military guards and the video was a major ratings bonanza on the North Korea state channel "Jong's Playhouse".  Uncle "Worse Than A Dog" Escorted Out of Meeting And in less than a week's time, Uncle "Worse Than a Dog" has been executed after a military tribunal proved beyond all dictatorial doubt that the dog had fleas and was a traitor for all ages and human scum. It is highly unusual for North Korea to publicly admit that it had executed one of its high officials, but there appears to be a consolidation of power where Millennials will be running things their way and that all the old farts will be removed one by one at the dictator's pleasure over the next few months. Not Just For Punishment Anymore What is intriguing to many North Korean watchers is that North Korea, a country whose national color is battleship grey and whose national beverage is urine, has a high level of creativity in putting people to death. In October of last year, a North Korean Military Minister was executed by a mortar round as a way to remove any traces of him from the earth and to ensure that his relatives couldn't tape and glue him together for a proper funeral. Office of Execution Theater According to unnamed North Korea sources, Kim Jong Un has a minister of executions (Office of Execution Theater) whose job it is to craft unique and "downright fun" ways of putting to death traitors and "human scum".    One, Two, Or Three Shots?  Low rent criminals are usually put to death with a bullet to the head and the relatives are billed for the bullet.    There are cases in which the North Koreans want to ensure that the criminal is dead, dead, dead, and take care with the execution by placing three bullets to the head, three bullets to the chest, and then for fun taking out the legs with a shot or two.   And then the munitions bill is sent to the relatives who often are already in a prison camp, and if they can't afford the bullets, they get one put in their head to satisfy the debt. In August, Kim Jong Un (loosely translated as man with tiny peen and balls) had an ex-girl friend executed by firing squad and she was told to hold flowers as a bouquet and the guards were to shoot off the petals and the bullets would then impact her body rendering her a bloody mess. Sometimes North Korean executions are turned into sporting events held in major sports stadiums where over a hundred thousand spectators hope their number isn't up where they'll end up as half-time entertainment.    Truckloads of condemned "human scum, traitors, and worse than dogs" are hauled into the stadium to be shot, kicked, beaten, and maybe even beheaded depending on a number each draws out of a hat. Half time entertainment is often brightly dressed girls who long to be taken by their dictator and used for his small sexual pleasure, but often these girls then are sent to a prison camp where they will work their fingers to the bone and die months after arrival.   And after the girls put on their show, selected spectators are told to lay down on the ground and are then run over by tanks just for a little added fun. The Question Everyone Is Asking That begs the question - How did Uncle "Worse Than a Dog" get sent to the afterlife? Off With His Head With Extreme Prejudice There are rumors that the Uncle was beheaded and that North Korea noticed that Mexican Narco Terrorists have found fun with chainsaws as execution tools and the Uncle could have been removed from his head by a smoke belching Chinese power tool. Signaling "I'm In Power" This execution was meant to send a signal to potential rivals for the North Korean regime that Kim Jong Un may be small in peen but he has big ambitions to turn the world's cesspool into a damned nasty cesspool where few have enough food to survive and those in power have to remember that this is a blood dynasty and there is no need for old farts who want to get into Kim Jong Un's porno stash. Kim Jong Un Makes A Point To Adversaries

Dateline:  Soul-less, North Korea According to reports coming out of North Korea, 80 people were executed on or around November 3 in seven or eight different cities with up to 10,000 spectators compelled to witness the mass executions. North Korean News Service (Lil Kim's Nuz) indicates that a "compulsory real life violence extravaganza against traitors, dirt bags, and otherwise worthless pieces of human debris" was held on November 3rd in several cities and that "our glorious leader personally flew to each site to witness the bloodshed and ate popcorn." Unconfirmed reports also add that these 80 people were executed with firing squads that could have had machine guns and that the families of the executed were billed for thousands of bullets and those who are unable to pay will sometime soon be executed for owing the State money. There is speculation in South Korean news agencies that the executions were a signal sent to the North Korean population that there will be no questioning of their great dictator if he ever utters "you can keep your health care insurance and your doctor" when the affordable care act is implemented in North Korea.   This is puzzling in that in North Korea you have no healthcare nor any doctor unless you are part of the North Korean Democrat Party so how could you keep or lose what you don't have? "We have no idea exactly what crimes rise to being subject to the death penalty in North Korea," noted Amnesty International spokesperson Schmuck N'Fuck.   "We have reports that several of the executed sneezed while watching the North Korean Dictator while he was on television and the perpetrators were seen splattering the television screen with boogers and mucus.    Other executed people had baked cakes and cookies that looked like the North Korean dictator when he wakes up in the morning - the burned mold fur was said to be nearly lifelike.    And still others wore unapproved bright colors on their socks and were made an example that no one in North Korea is to be brighter than the North Korean dictator." Former North Korean citizens who have escaped from the primarily dark grey colored country have indicated that executions are routine in North Korea for offenses like chewing your spoiled rice cake into a shape of a gun or if you refuse to eat your rotten tomatoes, carrots, or other healthy food promoted by one of the dictator's whores, Moochie Lin or Moochelle Fu. Historically many North Korean executions are not officially reported so the extent of those who have died to pleasure their tyrant is not well known.   But it is rumored that the Little Dick does have notches on his bed posts for each life he's removed from the face of the earth and that he has 30 foot tall bed posts in his penthouse bedroom.

Little North Korean Punk Ready for His Close-up As He Fancies Himself A Brilliant Strategist Dateline:  Little Dick, North Korea With the world on seemingly on the brink of nuclear war and with Las Vegas book makers now giving out the odds of such happening, word has come out that the little fat punk North Korean leader could be merely acting out a Hollywood drama. According to unnamed North Korean sources who promised to provide details in exchange for a bag of stale, broken, and near crumb like Animal Crackers, the North Korean dictator is now pulling off a scene from the series "The Borgias" where Kim Jung Un has ordered hundreds of ceramic missiles to be fabricated and painted to look like the real things so that he can scare the bejeezuz out of the international lightweight, Barack Hussein Obama. "There is no way you'll be able to tell the fake missile from the real one from a distance.    Kim Jung Un has really pushed his skeletons hard to do a fine job on the graphics.    And to provide incentive to do a good job, Kim has ordered anyone who is caught slacking off will be pushed inside the fake missile and then sealed up for eternity." noted the North Korean traitor. During this week, photographs showing the North Korean dictator at his command desk with an Apple computer were also debunked. "That Apple computer is a cheap Chinese knockoff - it is really a Pentium II computer with windows 95 running.   Kim likes to play dig dug on it and often spends several hours  in his big boy chair swinging his legs back and forth while his skeleton generals look on not quite sure what to do or say without getting hauled off to a country road to be shot in the head," continued the bread crumb-bribed traitor. Hot off the recent visit of Dennis Rodman, North Korean Dictator Kim Jung Un was seen dancing through his residence laughing and yelling "I got to see Rodman Pee Pee and its Huge!" Other North Korean Factoids North Korean GDP in 2012 was $5.99, down a quarter from 2011. The average North Korean eats 2900 calories per year from approved rations and supplements their diet with cockroach farms. North Korean prostitutes pay men to give them head so they can get the extra protein for their diets. Kim Jung Un's penis is 2.25 inches long and is unable to maintain an erection.   He does have a fluffer who rubs Un the wong way and makes him cum.

The Rest of the Story Behind The Visit While just about every knows that former NBA cross-dresser and otherwise mental midget known as "Dennis Rodman" went to North Korea with the Harlem Globe Trotters and was seen making out with Kim Jong Un (North Korean for "Little Punk With Big Endowment").    Evidently Kim Jong Un has always wanted to try a big Aftrican-American dong and has lusted for something over five inches which is almost impossible to find in North Korea.   Well, when Dennis Rodman was coming to his country, Kim put on his best communist leader suit and slicked back his hair seductively and pronounced to great the NBA hasbeen upon his arrival. In an unreported story that has human-rights overtones, it has become policy in North Korea to summarily execute anyone who doesn't orgasm at the sight of the 4 foot 2 inch leader.   According to sources close to the Korean dictator, nearly 2,400 North Koreas have taken a bullet for the leader after they had erectile dysfunction and were frigid upon seeing the leader in public.    During the visit by Rodman, two individuals were taken outside the basketball court and shot in the head after failing to gush over their leader.   Pictured immediately behind the warlord in the picture above is a man in a blue shirt and some chick who couldn't muster the energy to show the love.   Kim asked the woman to get a second shot for not cooking him something to eat as well.