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May 14, 2013 Office of the President  1600 Pennsylvania Avenue  Washington, DC 66686  Dear Fellow Americans,  I am writing to you to assure you that my Administration will leave no stone unturned at finding the truth about the IRS situation which appears to have originated from the viewing of a youtube video and resulted in spontaneous review by low level staffers in a broom closet in our Cincinnati office of the IRS. With the help of our great Attorney General, we shall investigate this situation and punish those who committed crimes and we will return the IRS back to being an arm of our income redistribution campaign to bribe the have nots to vote for us while making the haves regret the day that they had been born. I need to remind you that the Administrator of the IRS during this situation was a Bush appointee and it is possible that had Congress not been in session, I could have appointed another Administrator and this might not have happened.  In the other news today we find out that our friends in the media may have been involved in a very aggressive investigation by our great Attorney General and that in the interest of pursuing those who would harm Americans, we might have had an over zealous investigator who obtained phone records from the AP by accident. We can assure you that we will be as vigilant with this investigation as we were with the Benghazi situation.  With regard to Benghazi, you need to be reminded that it is the Republicans who are going on with this situation and you cannot trust them - they are out to taint our glorious Hillary Clinton and seek to play word games with talking points instead of providing more funding for embassy gardens like our wonderful new $1 million makeover of a European Embassy that would just make you so proud to be American. We insist that the Republicans expand funding and to stop playing sequester games.  As you know that I am not at fault here as the problems we face are caused by Republicans and the previous administration or unfair headwinds on an international basis which were not disclosed to me before I took office which I had no idea I'd face and you can't expect me to multi-task when the economy is so bad as it was caused by George W. Bush.    At every turn my political opponents are trying to drag me down because I'm African-American.   I seek to do the job that the American people elected me to do to exploit children to use as props to advance my political agenda and to recognize that millions of Americans have found low-paying jobs under my administration. Yours truly  Barack Hussein Obama Nobel Peace Prize Recipient Messiah From Hell Official Bush Blamer Proud Father of Two Children with My Wife Who is a Single Mother