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Dateline:
Dogs Don't Go To Heaven, North Korea
Less than a week
ago, Kim Jong Un's Uncle, "Worse Than a Dog" was forcibly
removed from a meeting by several military guards and the video
was a major ratings bonanza on the North Korea state channel
"Jong's Playhouse".
Uncle "Worse
Than A Dog" Escorted Out of Meeting
And in less than
a week's time, Uncle "Worse Than a Dog" has been
executed after a military tribunal proved beyond all dictatorial
doubt that the dog had fleas and was a traitor for all ages and
human scum.
It is highly
unusual for North Korea to publicly admit that it had executed
one of its high officials, but there appears to be a
consolidation of power where Millennials will be running things
their way and that all the old farts will be removed one by one
at the dictator's pleasure over the next few months.
Not
Just For Punishment Anymore
What is
intriguing to many North Korean watchers is that North Korea, a
country whose national color is battleship grey and whose
national beverage is urine, has a high level of creativity in
putting people to death.
In October of
last year, a North Korean Military Minister was executed by a
mortar round as a way to remove any traces of him from the earth
and to ensure that his relatives couldn't tape and glue him
together for a proper funeral.
Office
of Execution Theater
According to
unnamed North Korea sources, Kim Jong Un has a minister of
executions (Office of Execution Theater) whose job it is to craft unique and "downright
fun" ways of putting to death traitors and "human
scum".
One,
Two, Or Three Shots?
Low rent
criminals are usually put to death with a bullet to the head and
the relatives are billed for the bullet. There
are cases in which the North Koreans want to ensure that the
criminal is dead, dead, dead, and take care with the execution
by placing three bullets to the head, three bullets to the
chest, and then for fun taking out the legs with a shot or
two. And then the munitions bill is sent to the
relatives who often are already in a prison camp, and if they
can't afford the bullets, they get one put in their head to satisfy
the debt.
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In August, Kim Jong
Un (loosely translated as man with tiny peen and balls) had an
ex-girl friend executed by firing squad and she was told to hold
flowers as a bouquet and the guards were to shoot off the petals
and the bullets would then impact her body rendering her a
bloody mess.
Sometimes North
Korean executions are turned into sporting events held in major
sports stadiums where over a hundred thousand spectators hope
their number isn't up where they'll end up as half-time
entertainment. Truckloads of condemned
"human scum, traitors, and worse than dogs" are hauled
into the stadium to be shot, kicked, beaten, and maybe even
beheaded depending on a number each draws out of a hat.
Half time
entertainment is often brightly dressed girls who long to be
taken by their dictator and used for his small sexual pleasure,
but often these girls then are sent to a prison camp where they
will work their fingers to the bone and die months after
arrival. And after the girls put on their show,
selected spectators are told to lay down on the ground and are
then run over by tanks just for a little added fun.
The
Question Everyone Is Asking
That begs the
question - How did Uncle "Worse Than a Dog" get sent
to the afterlife?
Off
With His Head With Extreme Prejudice
There are rumors
that the Uncle was beheaded and that North Korea noticed that
Mexican Narco Terrorists have found fun with chainsaws as
execution tools and the Uncle could have been removed from his
head by a smoke belching Chinese power tool.
Signaling
"I'm In Power"
This execution
was meant to send a signal to potential rivals for the North
Korean regime that Kim Jong Un may be small in peen but he has
big ambitions to turn the world's cesspool into a damned nasty
cesspool where few have enough food to survive and those in
power have to remember that this is a blood dynasty and there is
no need for old farts who want to get into Kim Jong Un's porno
stash.
Kim Jong Un Makes A
Point To Adversaries
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