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There comes a time
when the causes of problems in today's world need to be resolved
as efficiently as possible. Our world is a truly
frightful place. From global climate change to the
war on women to gun deaths and the rich breaking into the homes
of the poor to steal the poor's stuff that they have purchased
with earned income tax credit funds and other government
handouts, it has become a place that is totally unsustainable.
It simply is not
fair to allow children, who once were eager to brave the world
of independence at age 18 in days when there were no cellphones,
google, or the internet to have to brave our world prior to
reaching their new adulthood age of 26 when these poor
youth are no longer legally able to be on their parents'
obamacare plan.
Our world, now
free from the fear of us being nuked out of existance by the
Russians, er, Soviet Union, and in the post Osama Bin Laden
assuming room temperature (now sea temperature) era, is a world
that is truly scary to behold. Our war on
Terror has been replaced with our misunderstanding of mooslims
and our support of Israel. And while it is
wrong for us to expect that the Chinese would live by our air
and water pollution regulations, we cannot bear the thought of
increasing our standards so that no powerplant can be allowed to
run that burns fossil fuels or runs on nuclear (NUKE-U-LAR to
those of you Jimmy Carter fans). We are
so concerned about the law of diminishing returns being accurate
that we seek to make our cars meet average fleet standards of 50
mpgs or more which no vehicle made today with a fossil fuel
engine can match without resorting to gimmicks and gaming the
EPA posted ratings.
Let's face it,
since Ronald Reagan left office and closed the door on the
shining city on the hill, our world has gone to pot - gone to
hell (if it exists), and we all know that a Bush is to blame for
our problems.
Being a person
who cannot just sit back and allow our world to further degrade
into more Super Storms and Women's Wage disparities that exist
everywhere else but at the White House, I will offer what I
believe to be the root cause of our issues we face and fear
today. Since those in power who are not
Republicans are truth-tellers like we have never seen, it is
easy to thus find the culprit - the root cause - the real reason
why our world is so scary and in the shitter.
White men.
I know you want
to laugh and to point a finger at me to suggest that a solution
to our problems can be boiled down to one root cause, but if you
listen to the news, to our first black president, to the
Reverend Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, we all know that the
common cause of our misery are white men.
White men wear white robes and hoods and have three letter
organization names.. White men make more than white
women. White men keep the other races
down. White men are the only people who are in the
1% and these white men are not in the bottom
99%. White men are keeping black men
from being professional football coaches and we all know white
men can't jump and are taking roster spots on NBA and College
basketball teams that would have otherwise gone to black
men. We know that white men are racists and
homophobes and bigots and exploit women. White
men are the rappers who objectify women in rap
lyrics. White men are the police who racially
profile and only spot the black man who committed the
crime. White men drive big trucks that
pollute. White men scratch themselves and
fart. White men eat beef and cattle make
greenhouse gases. White men are paid more than
anyone else and white men want to keep women barefoot and
pregnant. White men hate gays and are against gay
marriage. White men are Republicans and are
against our first black president because our president is black
and white men are racists. White men don't
drive Priuses and won't turn out the lights when they leave a
room and don't lower the toilet seat after pissing into
perfectly clean water. White men start wars
and pick on mooslims and demand mooslims join the 21st century
where women are respected and hangings and beheadings are caused
by white men being mean to mooslims or living on lands mooslims
claim. And we must remember that white men
brought disease to the New World which was a paradise that was
germ free and where native americans loved each other and lived
a perfect life that was ruined the moment that white men set
foot on this land. We know white men hunt and
own guns and drive trucks with a rebel flag in the rear
window. White men offshore jobs that were once
here so that the yellow man is employed against giving jobs to
non-white men and women here. White men
invented the PC and created a monopoly called
Microsoft. White men believe the world is only 2,000
years old and that we mingled with dinosaurs (and then white men
slaughtered all the dinosaurs at that time). White
men make Jesus into a white man when we know Jesus didn't exist
or was a black lesbian. White men believe that
we landed on the moon and only white men went there to begin
with.
I could go on, but I think you get my point - white men are the
cause of all evils in the world - or by the very existence of
white men and their penises and testicles being allowed to
complete the life cycle, we have a perpetuation of all that is
wrong in the world.
Something must be
done I say! We must act now!
Our lives as humans would be so much better if the self
righteous pink skinned penis holders were somehow contained so
that the misery they spread just by consuming oxygen could be
ceased.
I thus offer the
only obvious and workable resolution to the ills that I've
carefully outlined. And I know that you'll share my
outrage as I sat here and outlined all of the things white men
are responsible for and the misery they
spread. And I know that you'll share my
determination to make the world a far better place than it is
now. We have the chance, the opportunity, and
the will to make our world a better place. The
solution cannot be more clear and concise.
Kill all of the
white males. Don't stop with those who have
pubic hair and are of breeding age. Snarf out all
pink skin males. If we act now, as we spot a
penis attached to a pink skin male that exits the womb prior to
being aborted, we can snarf out that male and prevent him from
inflicting 75 years of misery upon the rest of us.
And when we have made it a practice to play catch with the male
infants exiting the womb, we need to then round up all white
males of all ages and to perform post natal
abortions. Snarf them all out. Snarf out
the breeding stock. Snarf out the ones who could
active in a year, five years, ten years. Kill them
all. Leave no stone unturned or cave or forest unsearched
- white men hunt and hide in the woods and will put up a
fight. Yank them out of their pickups and limos and
private jets and board rooms. Kill every one of
these white males. We can't even trust those
white men who say they are gay, progressive, or
understanding. It's all an act. White
men will say and do anything to appear to be sensitive and will
fake talking about their feelings with women - for it is all a
ruse to slide their erect penises into a woman so that white men
can spread their evil seed and to perpetuate another generation
of white penis holders. We cannot risk that one of
these evil penis holders might actually be lying and after
tending to a woman's needs, he won't just be seeking an orgasm
and then will roll over to go to sleep and not share with post
coital feeling analysis sessions.
And when the
white man is gone there will be no more problems.
Nirvana will be reached.
The solution is
that easy, my friends. We must act now.
When the clarity of the evil doer is so apparent, our inaction
is complicit with the White Male evil. Let's
do this and save our world!
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