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Our President is an unfortunate one – he was elected, however voluntarily, to oversee a period in American history that has been filled with tough choices. And we realize that in revisionist history that no President has faced such a collection of misfortune that has been bestowed on a man so intent on forever changing America. We cannot begin to compare the state of the country that our current President has had to oversee – he wasn’t told, after all, about the horrific state of the economy even as he had the benefit of the internet and had a class-best computerized campaign that was state of the art in all regards. Our President cannot be compared with the Presidents before him as if the state of the union under which Abraham Lincoln could be compared to what our first half black President had to face. We cannot begin to fathom the difficulties of those taking over the real Great Depression and then having to endure a world war with so many different armies that we were fighting the first true multi-cultural war. Poor FDR – he knew not what he had – a walk in the park – and he didn’t even have the internet to tell him the economy was far worse than he knew – but because he was more than half white, it begs the question why he didn’t just know. It goes without saying that when a President takes over an economy on the decline, something that we all know was the first time this happened to a President elect on the day of his inauguration, that we must shed pity on him – and we must also give him some slack since he’s never managed anything other than to campaign. With a skill set so limited as his and having been a United States Senator for mere days, he can’t possibly be expected as a Constitutional Scholar to know the full extent of anything. And we know that no other President in history has ever had to take over for a President named Bush except if you consider George Herbert Walker Bush being a Bush President. But that would be to render a comparison between the first black president to ever get elected to the first half black president to ever get elected. Why bother with history when the narrative we’ve been told is just so much more delicious?! And so our President now has to face terrorism – a fact that no other President has ever had to face – and this President has to decide when to pull out which is obviously something he didn’t do twice in his history. But when at war and when we had a chance to win, pulling out for him was a way to reverse success and to keep a few campaign promises. And while the prior president may not have had an exit strategy we can’t possibly expect his successor, born in Hawaii and having smoked weed and sold crack to finance his college education at Ivy League schools, to possibly know what an exit strategy was. But his predecessor should have know since he was an evil oil president who did not have over 1290 consecutive days of gasoline over $3.00 per gallon during his term like our current one has had. And the consecutive streak will continue to grow. Meanwhile, we have this problem with folks who want to enter through our windows and doors who weren’t invited and have never received a hand written invitation to be here. Yet because these uninvited guests are of an ethnicity we are supposed to embrace and to excuse their ignorance of the rule of law, we should just unbolt our doors, remove our fences, and open the windows and invite these poor folks from down south to have some of what we worked for. And we don’t even need to ask if these folks should work to get what we did, we should just suck it up and give them a chance – as if we tried the same thing climbing through their windows that we’d be given jack – we’d be given jail time like a US Marine has been and sent to a jail where he was going to be executed by wonderful drug gangs.  In the past, we have put up some resistance to the infestation from the south – we said “no” like a coed who was on top of her nude boyfriend. We even said “no” a second time, like that same coed did as she also joined her hunk in total nudity. But somehow, just saying no wasn’t good enough for us, but was good and proper evidence for the coed that when her boyfriend went the extra inch, he was charged with rape and the infestation progressed across the border without punishment. We actually do have laws on the books to make it illegal for an employer to hire an illegal alien – we have tripled our border guards according to our President’s own pure as the new fallen white snow’s mouth – and we also built a fence somewhere that was supposed to make it a speed bump for those who wanted to go through the door but had to choose one of the windows. We’ve even heard from the President’s sycophants that he has deported more illegals than any other President ever (even though they never also mention he has added more national debt than all of the presidents before him as well). And while the claim of deportations is completely bogus and proved dishonest by the fact that Homeland Security has suspended deportations per the President’s wink, smoke signal, and secret handshake, we are supposed to believe that this latest situation where babies in diapers crawled nearly 1000 miles as something that just caught the brightest men and women ever to be assembled in office totally off guard. Did you even know that currently those tripled border guards are now not actually policing the border? They are now changing diapers and are charged with preventing the people’s own Congressional Representatives from seeing what is going on in person. And then the President claims that Congress has never given him anything to sign into law – perhaps our Constitutional scholar president forgot that bills by the House go to the Senate to vote on and then to his desk to sign. Something like a hard drive crash ate the House bills on immigration that were sent to the Senate to vote on. Perhaps Harry Reid should look between his copies of Hustler to see if he can find a few of those bills because space aliens could be stealing the bills from the House that never seem to get voted on in the Senate! We are told that these new children who are fleeing their homeland aren’t just Mexicans fleeing beheadings from drug gangs. These new children are a multicultural rag tag bunch from Central America – and they manage to find their way through jungles, drug lords, desert, and other obstacles and traverse over a thousand miles to get here to the promised land – and woe and behold – not only are the doors and windows open, but we’ve opened the garage door, opened and deactivated all alarms, and our fence just doesn’t exist – and those tripled border guards are not guarding jack even as the President whines and threatens.

You also have to marvel at how these children who haven’t even grown up enough to procreate have managed to avoid Mexican border guards who are notorious for sending Central Americans to jail with all due haste – if there is one country that takes their border crossings seriously, it is the Mexicans. You can’t even sneeze from your side of the front yard to their back yard without being sent to prison.  So how is it that these children made this trip without being seized? So we now have tens of thousands of pre and post pubescent children at old Walmarts and old military bases – wrapped at night in foil blankets – and getting free medical care that our Veterans have to wait on two waiting lists to get and are only invited for care two years after they died. We are told these children may or may not be able to stay, but let’s assume that the President’s lack of serious attention on this matter means he wants them to stay – after all, if the President really was upset with this, he’d fire the head of the department (or allow him or her to retire), he’d purse his lips and say he is so upset, and then he’d attack Republicans and play golf. So he must really want these non-gringos to stay, we must therefore implore him to act as follows: (1) Mr. President. Tear down your White House fence. If a fence won’t stop jack, yours needs to go. I’m sure the Tea Party will come over and pull the focking fence up and even remove it and send it to be recycled. (2) Mr. President. Get rid of your guards. We know you’ve been so vocal about numbers, so let’s make your body guards do what you have made our border guards do – let’s bring up some welfare brood mares and their collection of mult-baby daddies offspring and have the guards change diapers and wipe asses and baby sit. After all, what is good for your multicultural brats should be good for your own kinds’. (3) Mr. President. You need to go through each incoming Hispanic child and determine if any of them want to get married to another same sex traveler. You should act now to guarantee these children the opportunity to go gay early and with the obligations that we know gays expect. And in case that one of these children is ill, the gay partner can visit and can prepare the funeral details. (4) Mr. President. We have to be concerned about these children – perhaps these children left bad families in search of good ones, so let’s compel every registered Democrat voter to practice their bleeding hearts by being REQUIRED to take several of these southern roaches in as members of their own families. I’m sure that these Democrats will practice what they preach and should be so happy to give a few of these TB and Scabies carriers a home on the Upper East side. And then to make it even more compelling to show the good faith nature of these loving Democrats, let’s bill them for the costs of accepting their new children to this country. We could even hire Sally Struthers to implore the Democrats to pay a couple large for each child as handling costs. (5) Mr. President. I think that you should immediately launch Moochie to spend perhaps a year as a missionary going into the infected holding rooms of these children and to spread her love by lecturing them on healthy eating and to ensure that no child has to endure eating French fries and hamburgers – and to scold them for eating tacos and burritos. You know your wife is just the bitch who can handle this – look at you when you get away from her snacking and scarfing down on food that isn’t on her healthy list. Imagine all the tasty food you can eat when Moochie is gone for a year! (6) Mr. President. I think you should chase down all of the undocumented migrants who have not signed up for Obamacare and compel them to pay the penalty like the rest of us will have to do – think of the revenue you can use to get out the vote by diverting government funds to the Democrats’ Congressional campaigns! (7) Perhaps you could send illegal aliens to fight in Iraq – you could show you are tough on immigration and tough on the militant mooslims since some of these wonderful illegal aliens had prior employment in Mexican gangs – and those dudes and dudettes know how to cut off heads with chainsaws and sharp knives – these dudes could really show the ISIS guys how to use more than bullets and butter knives to do the killing. And after you’ve sent a few million illegals to iraq, you’ve solved the problem here and you could consider the “deported” Mexicans as military equipment and just not bring it back after the fighting has died. And just think, you won’t even burden the VA with more real soldiers coming back with medical issues! (8) You could even give your daughters summer jobs by having them come up with catchy social media signs that they can hold up like “#can you spare a focking dime for our children?” (9) Mr. President. Apparently Sandra Fluke, a professional hired slut for birth control, needs to oversee the female children and to teach them that having men buy them contraceptives is a right and that no woman (or girl) should ever have to spend a dime to prevent pregnancy. And, Sandra could also teach the girls that if they call “M&M’s” as medicine, that makes it so so there should be a right for women to compel men to pay for free “M&M’s”. (10) Finally, Mr. President, perhaps you could take a few rounds of golf and do it in front of the children so they could desire being you someday – a man who is so concerned about so many things and finding time to play more golf than any president in history during the same times, during such conflict, and strife that you caused. You could show the children that you play golf for the children and that you even have rainbow socks on so you can show your support for the transgendered children who think that they are female when they have male parts. I think you’ll agree this proposal is quite modest and its points are as delicious as they are intended.