Well, there were seven. The chairs are lighting up but not the performers. The sounds you here are the death pains of a show that is ready to meet Jesus.
I fully intend never to learn the names of the performers. They are almost always awful - the worst season ever - and last year was the worst season to date. And the producers of the show wonder why their majestic money maker is sinking - the friggin noise it makes!
And now onto the contestants...
Purple-haired bitch. Awful. Flat sounding. To borrow from Simon, "sounded like a high school musical at a funeral home." She'll join Jennifer Hudson in the mediocre afterlife with a much higher rating than she deserves. I bet she'll donate a few family members' lives to the cause to complete the horrific and underwhelming career she is bound to have.
Dick sucking lips and eyes is up now - usually he is the only one who manages to perform above shit level - did I mention I love his eyes? He was okay - drowned out by the band - his voice was almost invisible. There is no doubt he is the only one this season with talent.
Blondie Witch - no singing talent here - trying to be some 80's rock witch - could be the sacrificial lamb in the finals against dick sucking lips. Awful in any language you can say it.
Fancies himself as hot shit guy - not the worst - not that good - nothing particularly interesting about him - his self love makes him so unattractive - in a year when the competition is weak, he is rising to the top. But then again, shit floats too.
Bad Dresser, Even Worse Singer Guy - Looks like some exhumed black rock singer - absolutely cannot sing - has nothing about him to even desire - certainly has nothing between the legs - all gimmick - all noise - all nothing.
Purple headed magic mushroom skank - bottom two along with the usual bottom two guy - now a noise off to see whom will be less offensive and saved. Skank ditches her usual off-beat look and now sounds like a lounge lizard with the looks of a freaky bitch in a black dress - not awful - then bottom two guy comes along and sings a song people know - he'll likely be saved just because of that - it wasn't well sung, however.
Second songs...
Moonriver and dick sucking lips - I'm sold - do me - do me - do me. Not his best vocals but his look has my legs springing up with landing lights ablaze....
Purple hair bitch - as good as she can do it - which is not very well at all.
He loved himself guy took time out to try Billy Joel. At least it wasn't awful. And then he loved himself more.
Bad dresser and even worse singer transformed himself into a bedspread and sounded like it was filled with bed bugs - his appearance makes my skin crawl - but not as much as his lack of singing talent does.
Rocker bitch should practice what she was singing and just "beat it". There is nothing here. The voice is awful - the look is dated - the only reason anyone moves with the song is they recognized it and were playing Michael Jackson and ignoring her.
Bottom two guy - his best version yet - saved himself here - he'll likely never sing like this ever again. And then he focked it up at the end with those gawd awful runs and high notes. Oh well.
Purple haired magic mushroom chick - she went back to gimmick - it was awful - she looked weird, dumpy, and hysterical all at the same time - and she sounded even worse. Good buy turd.
Purple hair magic mushroom chick goes home and number two guy stays another week to be the number two going home guy - his rightful place in mediocrity.
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