It is being reported that North Korean pot-bellied pig dictator, Kim Jung Unhung, is scrambling to mask the national security crisis of Mount Doom imploding from a plethora of nuclear tests. Apparently North Koreans did not contemplate that the tests would breakdown rocks and the top of the test mountain is now in the basement. According to unnamed sources, Unhung is trying to buy time from being blown off the face of the earth by Donald J. Trump. Unhung is apparently in the works to do a one-off version of "Mountain Hunters" with HGTV and he'll be shown three mountains which could support more unmitigated tantrum blasts so he can resume being an "asian bad dude" (with a small peen).
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