UV News Service Exclusive Report
In a modern day "who done it", a tree planted on the White House lawn during the French President's recent visit to the Holiday Inn, Washington, D.C., once known as the White House, has disappeared in less than a week and replaced by a mysterious yellow spot.
"We have no clue as to what happened to the tree," noted White House grounds keeper Mother Obama, who is working off her time of mooching off the taxpayers for eight years. "I know they'll blame my daughter. I just know. I'm an indentured servant here and I'm being forced to work off every morsel of food I consumed and I pray this prison term is only four years until some Democrat takes over the White House and makes America shit again."
Various theories abound and the Trumps, Donald and Melanoma, deny that they did anything with the tree like have it dug up in the middle of the night and taken to Trump Tower where it sits in a newly created boxed garden that also houses gifts from the Canadians, Maple Trees, and a head stone for Maxine Waters anticipating her assumption of room temperature.
Speaking of Maxine, the Congressputz launched into a tirade that Trump stole the tree and that this is grounds for his impeachment. "I've never seen such a tacky and most unfortunate President ever. He's Neanderthal in his treatment women, minorities, and the environment. He stole the tree. I beg of you to fly a drone over Trump Tower and you'll find that tree among other dirty things."
Other sources who did not wish to be named have suggested that the Moochella Worm could have consumed the tree as that is a natural result of Moochelle Obama's gardening techniques which sought to remove wood from the White House gardens. Said one source, "Moochelle was demanding that she hated wood and insisted that her husband give up his and to act with more life and with less stiffness. It is certain she brought in hundreds of Moochella worms and they would have treated a gift by a white person with contempt like never seen outside of a "Black Lives Matters" rally. Those worms even poisoned the ground - that yellow color is proof!"
It is said that the Special Counsel will be investigated Tree Gate as part of his coup against the Trump Presidency.
Update: 8:30 a.m. According to White House sources and news reports, the tree was only intended as a photo op for planting and has been placed in quarantine like other plants brought into the United States. There are rumors that the tree is sharing a cell at the southern border with Jose, Jesus, and Pedro who are seeking asylum.
Developing news story
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