UV News Network Exclusive Report
Number 16, AKA Hillarious Bugus, is a well studied spider who reportedly outlived the prior oldest spider by 15 years, was brutally attacked by WASPs (White Anglo Saxon Protestant female haters with wings and stings).
"We are devastated that this female spider was attacked by those males," said Romona Mona Diesel, a leading Lesbian Rights advocate who owns sixty nine poisonous spiders for protection against penises. "You just know this is another attack upon females. Those worthless wasps wearing their fancy suits have nothing but contempt for females of other species. I so want to kill them all. I really do. But those WASPs would try me as a serial murderer and would want to rape me in jail."
Romona Mona is a 40 year old, 350 pound bull dyke who barely stands five foot tall. When she says she wants to kill you, you know she can. Her feet digging into the dirt and her nostrils flaring are an indication that she isn't far behind in baring her four teeth that remain in her mouth.
Number 16 is said to have lived so long because she fails to take responsibility for anything and spends considerable time in her fancy hole in Chapstickaqua, a territory of Australia. Recently Number 16 was seen falling down over boulders and had broken one of her legs and she was not a happy camper having been threatened by a fat slug named Trumpie Trumpie Trumpie. Number 16, a Hillarious Bugus, a rather mean-spirited and hissy pissy spider, was seen rising up on her remaining healthy legs at the mere mention of Trumpie Trumpie Trumpie.
Funeral arrangements have been made at Leftist Swine Funeral Home. No right winged conspirators will be permitted at any time and this viewing is open to only those with yeasty and vile vaginas and any peen will be barred including Chlyamida Kardashian Jenner and her faux wang.
The family of Hillarious Bugus ask that you contribute to the Clinton Family Crime Foundation and please make the contributions in amounts less than $10k. The Family has no time to be bothered with reporting requirements for contributions of that amount or more.
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