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Mother.  Wife.   And gaining all the love that crossing from an 80 year old to a 90 year old warrants.

Barbara Bush, sex object for one President and a vaginal canal to another, has now begun the careful process of moving from a mortal to a corpse of importance.

According to unnamed sources somewhat close to the Bush Family, America's dynasty of thousands of points of light and bull horns of words that were heard, there is now a push to take the now planted Barbara Bush and to give her an Easter of her own where she rises up and becomes Saint Barbara.

"It was long known that Barbara needed no false fragrances in her toilet room after depositing a turd into the water.   It was there that no putrid aroma rose as she demonstrated that she was no mere mortal and just one of the girls.   She was special.  And like June Cleaver, Barbara wore those fake pearls as she grunted and strained to shed twenty pounds in one sitting," said our near Bush Family source.   "Barbara proved to all of her family and her friends that she was like rose petals even when a log was left behind for someone else to flush.   It was here over her 92 plus years that the legend of Barbara Bush was first born.   If her shit didn't sink, could she really be a saint among us?"

Betty Crocker circa 1965

Barbara Bush has long been speculated to have been the basis of Betty Crocker though the Hillary Clinton contingent would like you to believe that Hillary not only was Betty Crocker,  but she was named for a famous Mount Everest Climber, Sir Edmund Hillary.    And you could also believe people voted against her because she owned a vagina and a vast right wing conspiracy that is going after Trump now went after her then.

Barbara shares a famous tie to history as being the reproductive receptacle of a President's seed as well as an Easy Bake Oven for another President who likely couldn't spell "oven" or even pronounce it.   It is understandable that America is desperately seeking good news from the past as white privilege has deprived so many of their historical place of note.   Yet, somehow Barbara, being covered in rolls of wrinkled pink skin, has escaped the silver spoon in her mouth attributes and has risen to celebration and crocodile tears being shed as she continues to cool down in her pickled state placed in a box that is rumored to house over 300 pounds of fake pearls.

"We've submitted her application for Sainthood to the Holy Father," said the unnamed near Bush Family source.  "We were told that the Holy Father is too busy sucking on the toes of a select group of poor groupies to be bothered right now, but he would look over the paperwork after having overseen the removal of Hell from all Holy documents so that his exit from this life will no longer have any fear of a Holy Ass Roasting by Satan who no longer could possibly exist.    It is understandable that the Holy Father would act in all due haste to close the doors on Hell.   And this actually benefits Barbara Bush since heaven also only appreciates pure air defecation and aromas that could cause one to avert their head would be grounds for eternal hell and damnation.   And we also must face the fact that there is likely no one in Hell that has ever worn fake Pearls with the elegance of America's Grandmother."

As usual, UV News service will interrupt this blogazine's constant pictorials of naked mens to give you all the news you need with the point of view only the dignified hoe Ultraviolet Thunderpussy can provide.