The mortal remains of that fucking Maverick, John McCain, has barely cooled down even as his rancid bitterness lingers like a ghost train of expelled fecal matter.It is thus we find Andy Rooney leaving his perch in heaven next to God to go to a place slightly warmer in order to get the first post bite it interview with America's biggest piece of shit to exploit five years of captivity into a 20 plus year career of stabbing his party in the back not unlike he did to his first wife after he took one look at her auto-accident wrecked body upon his return from a five year stay at the Hanoi Hilton.
Andy Rooney: Greetings to you, sir. I'm sure you are finding your permanent assignment to be a big surprise. I'd tell you that if you can't stand the heat then get out of the kitchen. Unfortunately it is your ass that is on fire.
John Fucking McCain: You know, this is all about me and my wonderful service to the United States. I spent five years as a prison of war - something that John Kerry can't claim - and I turned this badge of honor into a wealthy career working with Democrats as I crossed the aisle in friendship and bipartisanship.
Andy Rooney: I'm so glad that you mentioned your crossing the aisle to stab your party mates in the back as you sucked Democrat cock. Did you learn fellatio while at the Hanoi Holiday Inn?
John Fucking McCain: This is all about me and not about your distortion of my record. I spent considerable time with my Democrat colleagues.
Andy Rooney: That is called treason, sir. The enemies of our Constitution should never be coddled nor should you lower yourself to give head to someone other than Lindsay Grahamnesty, your beau.
John Fucking McCain: I've never....
Andy Rooney: Yeah, right. I am sitting here in heaven looking down at you and your constant pandering to the sworn enemies of a free people. Countless times you put a knife in the back of fellow Republicans as you crossed the aisle. I have a question - can you tell the readers of this interview one time you invited Democrats to cross the aisle and to support you on a Republican idea where Democrats caved?
John Fucking McCain: This is all about me. I served my country with distinction as a prisoner. You can't judge me no matter how many angels you have smirking behind your back.
Andy Rooney: Avoiding reality is something you are good at - you pushed your wife overboard because she was damaged goods. I know that made a great impression on Satan. He knew you were a complete yutz then.
John Fucking McCain: The bitch was damaged goods and she was all for me dumping her. She supported it. And I married someone younger and more beautiful. She is likely going to be the next Senatricks from Arizona and will carry on with my knife sharing.
Andy Rooney: Can't name a time when the Democrats came to you to compromise. That's pretty sad, John. No wonder Democrats are falling over themselves to kiss your post mortem asshole. I'm on to you and so is most of the world that is awake.
John Fucking McCain: But I crossed the aisle in friendship. I never donated a knife to any of my party members that wasn't first blessed with a stream of my pee. I tried to prevent the recipient from getting an infection from my knives. Plant them I did. But I had to make this all about me and how I was cultivating the Maverick image. Those who stood in my way got what they deserved.
Andy Rooney: I'm surprised Satan has let you out this long. He must have really hot plans with you taking it up the shitter tonight.
John Fucking McCain: Satan said he'd play with Adolf and Mao while I do this interview. Did I mention that I was a five year prisoner of war at the Hanoi Hilton.
Andy Rooney: Did I mention that you are a permanent resident of the Hotel Hades?
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