Two snaps in a fish formation, er, school.
Hannah is mother of Tia, 17, Brooke, who is 9 and is already practicing for her first porn shoot, and Valentina who is barely 1 and who has already digested two tubes of lipstick and dragged her diaperless ass across their white carpet and created the outline for a pageant runway as a result.
While regular mothers bathe their children, Hannah takes her brood to the spa where she says this is wonderful "mother-daughter-bonding time". For $1,290 less, she could buy Gorilla glue to make the bonds more permanent.
Hannah claims that she is "teaching my daughters to look after themselves" and professes that "inner beauty doesn't get you laid like a great set of toned boobs". Hannah continued that "these spa sessions allow us to giggle and to gossip about how big the girls' school mate boys might be and using a bit of skin to get the boys to show enough to eliminate them from consideration later."
It should be noted that while Valentina is only a year old, she gets a discount on her extreme makeover and will be free until she turns five.
"Valentina will be a runway beauty once she gets past the free salon and spa sessions and will earn her keep by tricking boys into buying her lunch. That girl already has talents that will make her one pretty gold digger once she's old enough to date British Royalty," said Hannah, otherwise known as Mommie the Most Dearest of them All.
And while you might think this story is make believe, Hannah also notes that the girls each get facials but is instructed not to swallow for fear they might get big bellies. Even Valentina gets into the action as she sits in Hannah's lap while Hannah gets all her nails done and sometimes even Valentina gets hers done if their is enough paint left over from Mom's job.
As Hannah was gulping down some Champipple (made famous by Steptoe and Son), she noted that her daughters are being trained to place beauty ahead of all things and notes that she doesn't expect them to help keep the home clean nor should the girls think that the kitchen is something other than a dirty word.
"I make one of my boyfriends take care of the cleaning and they'll bring their sons over so the girls can guess their size and that makes such wonderful teaching. By the time my girls are of legal age to marry and to divorce, they'll be set for life with alimony to cover their girls and their beauty treatments. I'm also not bashful in teaching my girls about the facts of life and that they are never to just give away their pristine feminine condition. Demand a wallet check and then to interview each prospect (after being size qualified) and to get their future plans down to the month. I don't want my girls having to date someone whose ambition is to just go to college and to play with balls. I want my girls to be beautiful and set up for their lives so they can come back and gossip with me while I'm 65 and beautiful."
Story was originally posted here and is far less illustrative than what I've reported.
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