| THE TOP 24, er,
TOP 26.
I loathe it when I sense smoke
is being blown up my keister. And this season of
American Idol continues to blather about how much talent is
here. IMHO, talent is obvious and you don't
have to be told it exists. And if you have to tell
me it exists, it doesn't exist. And so this is
why I am holding this season in a higher level of contempt than
usual.
This season in particular
misses Simon Cowell's reality check moments - this was pure
smoke blowing. False praise and little actual
performer development. They sound no better at this
stage than at the beginning.
Remember I always approach
these performances by the standard of "would I actually pay
money to buy the music or to pay for a ticket to a
concert". If that answer is "no" to
either, this is a garbage contestant. And I
rarely like modern music which pales in comparison to anything
prior to 1990.
Who the fuck is the
"mentor" Allen Stone? Music
snowflake. The more I see and hear of him the less I
like him.
The misery and torture of this
season didn't take long to commence as the first chippie was
awful. Voice has no variety. Sounded like an
old Chrysler starter. Apparently she is named
Elise. Noise by any other name is still noise.
Next up is the msierable
Oliver. Musical snowflake. Modern
garbage.
I like the next contestant,
Matt, but I have a problem when black singers need to
"black up" a song. I won't listen to a
black music station and he lost me here - taking a country song
and turning it into a soul song. Good soul
performers are few and far between. He didn't
impress. I've seen Dan and Shay in person. He didn't
even come close to them.
Kaeyra - loud and dime a dozen
sound for a female. Dressed like a
who-ah. Listening to the performance was
unremarkable. Once again because you can sing
doesn't make you good. It just makes you blend
in. Nothing stood out about this music other than
her nuclear pink slut outfit and black boots.
Up next is the he/she - PJ (I
refuse to spell it like he/she/it does). Dresses
like a chick with a beard and chick hair with a pearl
necklace. He was starting to really grease up
with sweat. Not a good look. But it matched
his rancid sound.
Allen Stone is up
next. I can't stand this.
Third rate singer and a look like is unkempt and nasty.
Zachariah - audio cancer -
absolutely putrid. Visual antics are like when you have
the runs.
Mariah - blonde bitch snake
hair white chick who thinks she's black. Not a
good look. Makes her look like a bar
who-ah. Some trailer park is missing its
mattress. And add a cowboy hat to the snake hair with
cowboy boots. Vomit inducing sound and look.
And she's thirty pounds overweight.
Emma is up next - She looked
at least tasteful and elegant. Didn't reek of
having done a dozen men prior to the performance like the other
women. Had some good moments but the runs were awful
and the yelling exaggerated her enormous mouth
opening. Matrina McBride can pull off the elevated
sound and intensity without yelling. Emma can't.
Warren. Long
hair. Strike. Unkempt beard.
Strike. That voice. You're
out. Nothing here that stands out.
Yelling.
Nail-yah. Shrieky
astrologer. Her performance was like a K-Tel cover
of the original. This is what you get when you pay
the performer 99 cents.
Haven (AKA Blond 2x4) - worst
performance of the night. Imagine watching a 2x4
dance with stick figure moves. The sound was
unpleasant. This is modern music garbage.
Lucy Love. Huge
black performer. Her thighs and butt cheeks are
bigger than my waist. She tortured a Tina Turner
song. I was surprised Tina didn't come down from
heaven and bitch slap her for insulting her song.
Absolutely horrific. Watching a fat bitch trying to
dance while forgetting how to sing. I am
surprised the stage could handle it.
And now the grossly obese
Ian. His face is three times the size width wise as
his mouth. Looks like a butthole. He
cannot sing despite all of the blather about
him. Trust me. He's awful.
----First half of top 26
over---- No real stars in this bunch.
Plenty of pruning to be done. |
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