Top Six Plus Charity Save Performances

It's Wednesday and now it is time to listen to American Idol as it goes into its two performance week.   And since the Crack Hoe Wanna Be Jessica was saved last week, the cut down will be two casualties this week. Theme:  Chart hit from 2000 to current and then a soul song. Dick Clark will be remembered tonight.   No truth tot he rumor that he'll make an appearance from his casket. CHART HIT FROM 2000 TO PRESENT PERFORMANCE REMARKS First up .... Hollie.   Once again she is transformed into some middle-aged lounge singer - amazing that she can go from 17 to 40 with makeup.  She is screaming her song.   Was one of her better performances.   Judges liked her.   Judges also like well formed dog shit. Colton is next.  He is going to sing a Gag Gag song.   Oh joy.   Sounded like he was singing at a mortuary.   Damn, even Dracula isn't as dreary.   Once again the judges were all over it like a fly on that well-formed dog shit. Elise is coming up as the next performer.   Looks like she should be on Jersey Shore.   Unremarkable.   I found myself hoping the performance would end NOW.   The judges liked it.   More flies. Phillip is going to sing Usher?   Good grief!   I want to like him, but I am growing tired of this plodding singing style.   If he were a plane, he'd stall out and fall from the sky and crash and burn.   Didn't like the song or the performance.   Judges ate it up.   -- Sidebar item --  JayHo was dressed in a slutty outfit tonight - looked like a cheap brown plastic porch lounge chair had been stripped of its webbing and wrapped around her chest.   Yes, there were spaces where her skin underneath could be seen.   Not sure if there is a nude insert underneath as I couldn't find a nipple - though I looked - and shockingly, your eyes were drawn to the spaces where skin should have been.    I feel violated now. The Crack Hoe Wanna Be is up now.   Egads - another Alicia Keyes song.   Charity case now needs to start singing like she's more than a Whitney Houston Cover Vegas artist.   The good news was her performance ended.   The bad thing was that she sounded even worse than the original song which is a plodding blather of nothing.   When will some female artist come up with an original sound instead of being just a stereotypical black performer which extra runs and jib jabs thrown in?    Performers do that when they don't have either the talent or the voice.    The judges were falling all over themselves trying to prop up the performer not good enough to stand on her own two feet. - Sidebar - These judges rarely ever offer up substantial criticism when these performers deserve it.  Right now there has been NO PERFORMANCE that would sell as a single.    All performances right now are so not good enough that if they were on the radio, you'd change the station. Skylar brings us back to the world of Smurfs - nasal ass singing style that she has with so much sugary goodness that your ears bleed from diabetic overload.    This piece of work is like a magic mushroom mated with Reba McIntyre and produced a short shit load of nausea.   Egads - she is going to sing "Born this way" by Gag Gag with a country twist.    What a twangy trainwreck!   Her snotty, smurky smurf persona combined with the stupidity of Gag Gag's song just didn't work.   I wish I could take my purse and beat the shit out of this Smurf.   Absolutely hated this performance.   Her outfit looked like something the dog pulled out of the kitchen trash - aluminum foil, used cheese cloth, black plastic bag for her pants - what a disaster!    Of course the judges at this up.  Now we have to endure Joshua - singing a Fantasia song.   This should be bloody horrific.   Scream it!  Scream it!   Dressed in a red suit coat.   Can't figure out which is the biggest joke - what I hear or what I see.   Judges loved it.   Go figure.   They don't even matter anymore.   We'd be no worse if the judges were just eliminated.   They are cowards and limp dicks. SEE NEXT POST FOR SOUL PERFORMANCE