Ah, today is the day that Apple Heads swoon for.
The arrival of yet another new Apple product.
And like the proverbial Lemmings seeking the solace of the trip over the cliff, Apple Heads just gotta have the latest and greatest product.
Today the Apple iPhone5 arrives and Apple Heads are camping outside Apple Stores waiting to buy one. Oh the joy! Oh the humanity!
Not having been infected with Apple Gottahavititis, I sat down to look at how much it costs to be an Apple Head. You see, it seems like Apple launches a new iPhone each year in hopes of rendering the previous version so undesirable that Apple Heads will go out an spend money on the latest and greatest Apple product.
In the 1950's and 1960's Detroit developed "planned obsolescence" in order to get you to buy a new car each year or two - their version was to build a car that would last about 24-36 months (just long enough for you to make your last payment) and then you'll be forced to buy a new car - plus with the ever changing design of cars during that era, you just couldn't be caught dead in a car with lower fins, taller bodies, or in last season's exterior colors.
Today Apple has taken the science of "planned obsolescence" to a new level - they intentionally launch products that they know are already obsolete onto Apple Heads because this year's obsolete product is so much better than last year's obsolete product. Today's youth and conned Apple Heads just can't be caught dead using last year's iPhone, iPad, iTampax, or iThang.
How is it that Apple sells "obsolete" products as new you ask?
Easy. Apple knows that it has the next iProduct already in the works and doesn't dare include that technology into the product today - so the new product that they launch today is effectively already obsolete by the choice of Apple - this is how they can continue to bring new products out each year - they hold back features from the current launch to keep for the next year to build a frenzy of "gotta have it" in its loyal and easily conned consumers. You cannot launch new products each year by being cutting edge on technology - you have to withhold its rollout to a staggered one so as to have something new each year but you know, as Apple does, that it has new stuff ready to launch, but it rations this technology by trickling it out so as to keep its precious revenue stream flowing and to build excitement with its consumers.
During the late 1950's and early 1960's, automakers used to do this with cars and they'd cover up their dealership windows in late September and early October when their new products launched - excitement for new cars during that era is not unlike what Apple has created with its easily fooled consumer.
So how much does it cost a fickle Apple Head each year to satisfy their "addiction"?
The iPhone 5 retails for between $199 - $399 (approximately in the US). Since this year's model is bigger, you'll have to buy new cases and other accessories to make it less damage prone. Mind you that last year you went through this so you spent $200 or so (on average) for your iPhone so you are making a near annual contribution to the company with the most outrageous profit margins ever conceived (other than drug cartels) of about $200 just for the hardware. If you purchase the best and most outrageous product, you fork over $100-$200 more in upgrades and accessories. This doesn't count the cost of the actual phone service and the changes in costs as the cell service adjusts to force you to pay more for the service you used last year.
Lost in all of this discussion is that the iPhone is likely one of the least effective CELL PHONES out there - yet you are buying a CELL PHONE when you buy an iPhone! So each year you buy one of the most underwhelming actual cell phones and spend $200 plus to experience mediocre cell phone performance - meanwhile, you could be spending $50 a year for a Tracphone service that actually makes phone calls. But then again, you don't buy your iPhone because it is a great phone. You buy an iPhone because it is a great bragging product that you can lord over other people who don't have one, can't afford one, or who long for one - and it makes you feel soooooo IMPORTANT!
And it costs you over $200 a year EXTRA just to get that high.....
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Friday, September 21, 2012
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